31 March 2008

Last Night In Town

Well, another last night in town. My car is packed and ready to head out. I had planned to head out early (like 0500 early) but my friend is having a bad day so I'm going to take her out after she gets off work. To be honest, I'm really excited right now. It's a funny feeling knowing that I'm leaving home again for almost 6 months. For those of you that live here in the DC area and know me, I'll see you in the fall...

28 March 2008

Climbing and Part 1 of Russian Aiders

Today was spent climbing...nothing more...nothing less. With a lot on my mind, I decided to take some time off to clear it. I climbed around Boucher Rocks only to find out about 4 hours into climbing that the area I was in had been closed off and that I was in fact trespassing. Since I didn't feel like driving anywhere else, I decided to practice my aid climbing and my newly purchased Russian Aiders. If you don't climb, the rest of this paragraph (and maybe this post) is going to be really boring and confusing. Now for those of you trad climbers out there that have ever thought about climbing aid or for you hard core aiders as well, Russian aiders are pieces of webbing with steel rings sewn into them every foot or so that allow you to hook into them with stirrups that go around your calves and the bottoms of your feet. Before I had used them, I had been reading about big wall and aid climbers that swore by them. The information I could write on them would take you hours to read. If you're truly interested in what other people think of them, go to www.rockclimbing.com or www.supertopo.com and search for Russian Aiders. The skinny of it all is when you're using normal aiders (Etriers) with your center of gravity being so high, you have nothing to hold you to the face of the wall your climbing but your arms which makes it awkward trying to hook into a piece of protection once you get closer to the top of your aiders...especially if you have to stand in the last couple steps. With Russian Aiders, because of the hook of the stirrups being right below your knee, your foot acts as a stop, keeping you from falling backwards while you're hooked into the rings at your knees. The results? Less fatigue in your arms, more stability, and ease of reaching the piece of protection you placed. What I found was great about them was the rings proved useful to clip other things (carabiners, other protection, etc) into them while you're working your way up the aiders. The point of all of this is, I am freaking sold on Russian Aiders and I'm glad I spent the $80+ now that I've tried them. Anyways, I'll make a better, more detailed post on their use and great benefits when I can get someone to take pictures of me using them.

Today was my first time climbing aid and I learned a lot of things the hard way. For one, you will be hating life if you don't wear kneepads while you climb aid. My knees are still shredded and bloody hours after climbing which is another great thing about Russian Aiders compared to Etriers because they keep your knees off the rock. Gloves (which I just found) are nice too because they keep your hands from developing blisters and getting scraped up. You constantly hear about climbers taking hours to complete one aid pitch and I can see why. Deceivingly, it takes a lot of time to place a piece of protection, test it to see if it will hold your weight, climb up your aiders, clip into that piece, place the next piece, clip your second set of aiders into that, test that piece of pro, transfer your weight over to those aiders, and repeat the process over and over till you get to the end of your pitch. Man I can't wait to get out west...

27 March 2008

Leaving Friends Behind...

I've been spending my last couple of days tying up loose errands so that I can relax and look forward to the weekend. It's feels weird counting down the days again for I have 5 days before I head out to Cali. I'm starting to think about what I need to pack and I'm trying to get back into a regular sleeping cycle so my days driving are more productive. I didn't realize it until today but there are a few people I'm going to miss when I leave. The one thing I hate is the one thing I'm learning how to deal with the best: staying in touch with the friends that matter. I hate leaving my best friends behind. No matter where I go, the friends I meet I know I probably won't see again for a long time. Hopefully things will be a little different in Utah considering I want to make Zion a stable thing for a few years until I decided to move on to a hotsot crew or skip the shots all together (for the summer at least)and go straight to a smokejumping crew. I don't know. I'm rambling. Man it's really going to suck leaving certain people behind though...

24 March 2008

Lil Bush and Democracy

As I sit here at 0340 trying to prepare myself for an 2300 to 0700 shift at Loudoun Fairfax Ambulance Services dispatching, I can't help but channel surf. Lo and behold I come across the TV show Lil' Bush on Comedy Central. Granted, this show is freaking hilarious but it also reminds me of one of the pretty deep conversations that made Antarctica enjoyable so much. Traveling around the country and the world has allowed me to speak with people from the left wing of the spectrum to the right wing. One thing this one particular conversation made me realize was how lucky as a country we are. When you look at other countries in the news you see a lot of violence because of that country's politics. We're one of the few countries that can settle its political differences without violence. We hold protests that normally do not result in arrests. We vote and debate about different parties without for even a second considering violence as a means of convincing the other sides. Hell, not many countries can allow TV shows and cartoons like Lil Bush on the air that blatantly make fun and shine negative light on their leaders. I dunno. To me that's Democracy. That's freedom. I wonder if the next president will have their own cartoon...

23 March 2008

Happy Easter

Today is Easter. For practicing Christians world-wide, today is probably one of the most important days of the year including Good Friday and Christmas. Today, while thinking about the resurrection of Christ, all the good things I've done in life, volunteering and good deeds, seem trivial to what Christ has done for me. Today, all my problems have temporarily gone away. I feel happy and enlightened to do nothing but rejoice in my Lord and savior. Happy Easter everyone.

22 March 2008

Ranting About Life

[Forgive me if you cant follow this rant] It's amazing how despite how old you are you are constantly finding more things out about yourself that otherwise have seemed mysterious. For those of you that have truly known me (i.e. most people outside of the firehouse) you know that I've been constantly struggling with my own self-identity and what I want out of life or where I want to be. I think the 'where' (for now) is irrelevant compared to the 'want' I'm experiencing. It took 22 years of living here in Virginia for me to figure out that I wanted to be away from everything and everyone I knew. When I set off down I-90 into the great unknown, I felt free and clear for the first time since a period of innocence we can only find in early childhood. I didn't know anyone. I didn't know what was going to happen. Hell, I barely knew where I was going. But I had clarity and I was ready for what ever was to happen. Living in Boise was weird...very very weird. Between the people in my life and living in DC in general, I developed a very (un)healthy distrust in people...especially those that managed to get close to me. I don't know why. For some reason I feel I can't even trust my own family. Without going into a long story, someone got too close to me while out west and it went against everything I had been feeling up until that point.

Months went by after Boise where I struggled to figure out what was wrong with me and why I was running away from the very thing most human beings seek throughout there life. I think when I started dating Betty, I felt safe because we never really got terribly close. She knows secrets about me that no one else knows. We were a pair. We were boyfriend and girlfriend. But she never pressured to get too close. I dunno. Despite how much I enjoyed it, our relationship is hard to explain. Coming back home from Antarctica is where I found out how much I'm constantly trying to get away from people I know either before they get too close to me or when I realize that they're too close to me. I've been feeling ashamed about the fact that I don't even want to be around my own mother who knows me more than anyone. When I come home from traveling and working, I look for friends old and new to hang out with. Some of them actually follow through with the plans they make and I love hanging out with them and being around them. Yet when its all said and done, I look forward to the car ride home when I can be alone. When I climb, when I'm hiking, when I'm traveling or reading about the travelers, explorers, and adventurers that drive me to keep moving, I feel real, I feel alone...just with my thoughts and emotions, I feel happy and free. When I gaze across a valley from a mountain peak or when I look across a meadow from a tree line, when I set foot on new land thousands of miles away from my home and my birthplace, I feel calm and content. No one I know or love around me, no one to distrust or dislike. Just me and the world before me.

Now, before you say to me, "Todd, what in the hell are you talking about?" I'll answer that question simply with "I have no fucking idea..." That's the fun thing about life...figuring rantings like the one above out....

Time Will Tell

I find myself with a week left to tie up loose ends before I leave DC once again for 6 months. I have still lots of paperwork for various things to complete. I have my taxes to do, issues with my car to take care of, things to buy, people to see, and family to visit. This weekend however will be spent relaxing. I've been a little pissed off and stressed out over the past 5 days for other various reasons so tomorrow and Sunday will be spent not doing a damn thing. I think the only things I have planned are a few hours in McLean park playing disc golf, and taking my friend out for the night for her birthday. Maybe some climbing will be thrown in there...who knows.

Hoping that I get hired again to go down to Antarctica next year (long story), I've started planning my month trip in central Asia (Southern Russia, Kazakhstan, and Kyrgyzstan). I'm also looking for other options as far as seasonal work for the winter. So far, the only two I've found are contract structural firefighting on the Marshall Islands or wildland firefighting for Augusta Hotshots out of Augusta Springs, VA. I dunno. Time will tell what will happen next winter.

21 March 2008

Next on the list....

Once again, another chapter in my life is drawing to an end and a new one is about to begin. I have 11 days left in the DC area before I drive out west. I've been studying like mad so that I'll be ahead when I arrive to class. Since I'll only have the weekend to drive from Midpines, CA to Cedar City, UT and move into where ever I'll live before the following Monday when I have to report for work, I've opted to give myself the day I alloted for emergencies to find and/or move into a place in Cedar City. I broke my plan down like so:

April 1st: DC to Jackson, TN
April 2nd: Jackson, TN to Amarillo, TX
April 3rd: Amarillo, TX to Cedar City, UT
April 4th: Explore Cedar City for housing and whatnot
April 5th: Cedar City BLM new hire orientation, tie up loose ends, in Cedar City, and drive back to Flagstaff, AZ
April 6th: Flagstaff, AZ to Yosemite Bug Hostel where I will call classroom and home for the next month...check in after 4 PM

Now, I learned a lot from my trip out to Idaho as far as packing and driving so hopefully this trip will go a lot smoother. At this point, I'm just ready to get out of here and hit the road again...

16 March 2008

By The Mark by Gillian Welch

By The Mark
by Gillian Welch


When I cross over
I will shout and sing
I will know my savior
By the mark where the nails have been

Chorus:
By the mark where the nails have been
By the sign upon his precious skin
I will know my savior when I come to him
By the mark where the nails have been

A man of riches
May claim a crown of jewels
But the king of heaven
Can be told from the prince of fools

Chorus

On Calvary Mountain
Where they made him suffer so
All my sin was paid for
A long, long time ago

Chorus

Sunday

Today is Sunday. Most Christian's are going to church today. Since I don't believe in churches, I choose to spend the Lord's day of rest reflecting outside the confines of a holy house. That doesn't mean the Lord's not on my mind. I listen to a lot of gospel in the form of bluegrass and folk music. Recently I've been listening to a lot of Gillian Welch music. For one, the woman is gorgeous...I mean, damn. Two, her music can be considered haunting or soothing...much like life. I dunno...something about her. Anyways, today will be spent listening to some music while I attempt to clean my room. I'll work out a bit, talk to my mom, and head to the firehouse. Everyone have a good day and God bless.

Sterling and Friends...

I can honestly say that Sterling Montague is one of my best friends. The man can speak a lot of sense in you. The one thing I can say I love about being back home is that I'm around my few close friends (like Sterling) that can put things into perspective. I spent a lot of time thinking to myself and keeping my thoughts private in Antarctica and Idaho. It feels good to express them to Sterling and Maketsi. In the past couple of days I've learned a lot about myself and how I've been handling such issues as religion, my dad, my daughter, etc. I've had a lot on my mind and it feels good to talk to people about it. Asides from the talk, it was really good to see Sterling. I don't know. I hope to see all of you. But there are a select few whom I have to see before I leave..

15 March 2008

Flakes and 2 Weeks

My time at home is dwindling down now. Wednesday I'll have 2 weeks left here in town. I'm ready to worry about other things in life. Twice some peope I was suppose to hang out with flaked out on me leaving me to stay at the firehouse for the night. I dunno. Screw them, because in two weeks I won't be around them anymore...

- Posted using Pocket Watch Software Mobile GBlogger.

14 March 2008

Old Friends and a New Adventure

Tonight's been a busy night at the firehouse....unfortunately with a lot of bullshit calls. Nothing to them...just running around greater Ashburn like idiots. Another night at station 6.

I spent the better part of early this morning talking to a friend whom I consider pretty close that I haven't talked to in years. We talked about religion, our dads, and other thoughts and feelings that have been lingering in our heads. It feels good to talk about things that I have been thinking about for years and haven't found the right person to share them with. I'm real picky about to whom I open up but I'm really glad I opened up to this person.

I've been feeling really enlightened the past couple of days. Between listening to a lot of gospel, talking to close friends, and just feeling good in general, life's been good this week. I have 17 days left in this area before I go gallivanting across the country again. I'm ready to start anew again. I can't wait for the west coast...

12 March 2008

Paperwork...

I've never had so much paperwork to fill out before in my life. I have paperwork for my class to fill out, background investigation paperwork, physical/medical paperwork, drug testing paperwork, paternity paperwork, unemployment paperwork, financial paperwork, legal paperwork, etc. I've been so swamped the past few days it's mind boggling. I've decided to take a break tomorrow from anything that involves writing. I may go climbing or for a hike. I don't know yet. We'll see...

11 March 2008

One Year Anniversary

As I nearly forgot, yesterday marks the one year anniversary of this journal. A lot of my friends have tried to keep one but I don't think any of them lasted a full year. Before switching to blogger on 10 March 2007, I was using live journal. My journal has seen me through figuring out what I want to do for the summer, landing a job with Red Truck Wildfire, applying for the firefighter's position in Antarctica, getting the job, my first big wildfire, Salt Lake City, my last couple wildfires, driving back home, getting ready to go to Antarctica, going to New Zealand and Antarctica, my uncle dying, life in Antarctica, getting promoted, coming home, getting hired by Zion, having a $3000 class paid for entirely (by someone not me), and a whole bunch of things I didn't mention here. That's cause for a celebratory gatorade. See yall and take care...

Canada anyone?

While I was at The Tavern last night drinking a corona by myself (no I'm not an alcoholic), a man that sat down next to me struck up a conversation with me. He asked me where I was from and if I'd been here long (he'd been coming to The Tavern since late October and just hadn't seen me up until now). I told him that I worked in Antarctica and that I'd be working out west as a firefighter. He told me he too worked as a firefighter. He had worked for LA County Fire Department on their aviation branch as well as for British Columbia (Canada) Forestry Division doing helirappelling. We began to talk and share stories for a couple hours. The weird thing about it all was I had just been talking about possibly working for LA County and smokejumping less than 24 hours before hand at the firehouse. Weird how life opens doors for you...

10 March 2008

A Lot to Prove

The last couple of days, I just started to realize how much pressure is on me knowing that I'll be working with Zion Helitack. I mean, here's this manager who's sticking his neck out to hire someone onto a helicopter crew with only a season and a half of wildland experience. Granted, I can say with out tooting my own horn that I really want to work with this crew and I've proved that by bothering Mike (Reid the helicopter manager) non stop since November for information regarding the crew, the park, and the area. Anyways, my point is is that they're probably expecting a lot out of me when I start working...more so than anyone else there which means I have a lot to learn, a lot to do, and little room to fuck up...I guess that's what makes thinking about this summer so exciting

08 March 2008

Bartender by Dave Matthews Band

Bartender
by Dave Matthews Band

If I go before I'm old
Oh brother of mine please don't forget me if I go
Bartender please, fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free, after three days in the ground

Oh and if I die before my time
Oh sweet sister of mine please don't regret me if I go
Bartender please, fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free after three days in the ground
Bartender please, fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free after three days in the ground

I'm on bended knee I pray Bartender please
Oh when I was young I didn't think about it,
But now I can't get it out of my mind
I'm on bended knee please father please

Oh if all this gold, should steal my soul away
Oh dear mother of mine, please redirect me if this gold
Bartender you see, this wine that's drinking me
Came from the vine that strung Judas from the devil's tree roots
Deep deep in the ground

Bartender you see, this wine that's drinking me
Came from the vine that strung Judas from the devil's tree roots
Deep deep in the ground
I'm on bended knee I pray Bartender please
I'm on bended knee please mama please
Oh when I was young I didn't think about it,
But now I just want to run and hide
I'm on bended knee Bartender please

07 March 2008

It's been 4 days since I've been back and I'm still suffering from Jet Lag. It's beginning to screw up the way I work out (right now I'm not working out at all. It really feels good to be back. I knjow, I've said it to several people and I think I said it in my last post but its true. There are some faces of people I've thought about over the winter/summer that feel really good to see again. Today I go file for unemployment. I'm definitely going to need it after school in April. I'll need something to last me till my first paycheck in late May which isn't to far away...

05 March 2008

Home

It feels good to be home. Seeing my mom and some of my friends for the first time in 6 months feels really good. It puts a smile on your face. It's warmer than I thought it would be. Honestly though, nothing has changed. I now spend the next 4 weeks getting ready to head away again for another 6 months. I hope to see as many people as possible. I'm looking forward to pushing myself to get into shape (as soon as my jet lag wears off) for the fire season. I'm looking forward to climbing and fishing. I'm looking forward to being home for a bit.

01 March 2008

Zion Hire, Last Day, Time Paradoxes

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to say that I've been hired on with Zion Helitack through Cedar City BLM. It sounds weird when I say it but for some reason it's a dream come true. Just receiving that bit of news made everything else that has happened to me this week seem trivial and mediocre. Now I'm the type of person that likes to fill out paperwork for new jobs and learn when and where I have to report for work, what gear I get and when, etc. but I've yet to get all of that information. For now, I just know I've been hired on.

In a celebratory fashion after receiving the news that I got hired, I got incomprehensibly drunk last night in downtown Christchurch...one of the first times I've ever drank to celebrate. It was also a celebration of one of our last nights to go out and have a good time before myself and the last few firefighters split ways and headed home. Today is my last full day here in New Zealand. Tomorrow, I fly home. It's a funny thing international travel is, soley because of the change in time zone. Heaven forbid you cross the International Date Line. Example: tomorrow, I am flying from Christchurch to Auckland, Auckland to LA, and LA to DC. I leave Auckland for LA at 1940 hrs on 3 March. I arrive in LA at 1020 on 3 March in Pacific Coast Time. I leave LA for Washington at 1450 on 3 March and arrive at Dulles around 2230 Eastern Standard time. What does this mean? It means that by the time the "day" is over tomorrow, I'll have travelled from Christchurch to Washington D.C. within 7 1/2 hours on 3 March. Let's not forget the paradox of 25 hours of travelling between 1500 and 2230 hrs on 3 March. Tomorrow is going to suck ass...