It's funny that I considered today to be a long day of flying. I'm really not looking forward to Monday's 12 hours over the Pacific Ocean. Well today's pretty much over with. I'm sitting here in my free, uber-luxurious hotel courtesy of your hard-earned tax dollars. Belly full after a reimbursable dinner, I can only sit here and wonder what will go down tomorrow and the rest of the week. I don't know....that's all I got for this entry. Take care.

Final Night

9 1/2 hours to go before my flight is scheduled to take off from Dulles. When I was a kid, things like this would keep me up all damn night. Right now, I'm fighting to stay awake as a take care of some things at the last minute. It still hasn't dawned on me yet as to what I'm about to embark on. I stopped at the firehouse tonight to pick up a pair of shoes I had left there and ended up staying for about 4 hours. I'm going to miss that place...again. Kyle put it best when he said that Ashburn was my home. I mean, I can't think of another place where I've dedicated so much of my time and life to. I'll definitely miss the place but I can't pass an opprotunity like this up and I'm hoping that I'll love McMurdo so much that it will become a second home to me. There were several people with whom I really wanted to hang out. Some I couldn't get a hold of. Some our schedules didn't match up. Some didn't even put out an effort to hang out when I asked. Those I did see though, I'm glad I did. Well now, all I have to do is sleep and wake up. My suitcase is packed, my backpack will be packed as soon as I'm done with this post and I can turn my computer off and everything around the house I need to take care of....is taken care of. All I have to do is sleep and wake up in the morning. Good night everyone.

Unreal

Last night (now) was my last night at the firehouse for the next 4 or 5 months. Tomorrow I'll be Antarctic bound...an experience that will hopefully be a profound one for me. Something that will hopefully change my life. It's funny how firefighting has involved itself into my life so that it makes me revolve mine around it. Now, I'm heading down to the bottom of the earth to continue my career, my life in firefighting. I was hoping for a fire or something big tonight. Tomorrow I'll leave happy knowing I had seen one of the few people I had been dying to see all summer. I'll miss all my friends...but I can't wait to meet the ones I'll be living and working with Saturday evening. I've already found out that several people I worked with in Salt Lake City will be there Saturday which means I'll spend most of next week with them as well. Anyways, I have one day left. Exactly one day to finish packing, figured out the logistical nightmare of dealing with my gear for my Morocco trip, and spending my last night in town with close friends. Asides from everything that's happening, I can only think about how much I miss my pops and how much I wish he were here to experience this with me. This entire week, I thought about those I know and love both present and past. I've thought about those whom I miss and who miss me. I think about those whom I'm glad I don't speak to and who are glad that they don't speak me. I've pondered who will I meet, what kind of relationships with them will I forge. The weird thing about it all is that out of all of this thinking, out of all this rushing around getting things done before I leave Saturday morning, Saturday Morning, mind you, it all still seems unreal...

I'm an idiot

You know, it's easy to view procrasination as an ever-growing, evolving monster. One minute you're putting off something that actually needs to get done and the next you're doing something that really doesn't need to get done which leads to you doing something that really doesn't fall anywhere near the scope of what you had originally set out to do. Today I told myself I'd go climbing when I woke up, get lunch, and pack some in the afternoon before I went to the firehouse. Well because of some fucked up half asleep/half awake dream I had, I woke up to look at my clock showing 2:45. Thinking that my whole day was ruined, I said to myself fuck it and went back to sleep only to wake up at "5:15" a little more awake and aware than I was when I originally woke up. Well, to my dismay, that 5:15 was actually flashing on my clock versus being steady which made me remember that the plug for the power strip the clock was plugged into is so heavy that it will fall partly out of the socket after a few days...enough to disrupt power to my clock. Anyways, I got out of bed to look at my phone only to see that it was only 10:00 in the morning. Still barely awake, naked, and confused, I sat on my bed and just thought about how much an idiot I was for being so clueless this morning which actually led me to think about feeling the same way in Antarctica while dealing with 24 hour sunlight and a 24 hour/24 hour off schedule. So with my morning being shot (I had planned on going climbing at 6 AM) I got up, made breakfast, finished off season 3 of Grey's Anatomy, opened a new bank account with Bank of America and attempted to finish packing my bag(s). Now after about 10 minutes of packing, I decided, for some reason, to finish my laundry and start a new load. Haha, even better than that was when I pulled all of my stuff out of the drier, it dawned on me that I had a lot of shit with "Ashburn Volunteer Fire & Rescue Department" on it. So what did I do? I went around and counted every single article of clothing with "AVFRD" on it. I came to this total:

8 - s/s T-Shirts
4 - Tower Ladder 6 s/s T-Shirts
1 - Engine 6 s/s/ T-Shirt
1 - 2005 Open House T-Shirt
3 - Sweaters
3 - Jobshirts
3 - Polo Shirts
1 - Flex Fit Hat
1 - Pair of Gym Shorts
1 - Pair of Sweatpants
3 - s/s Button Up Dress Shirts
2 - l/s Button Up Dress Shirts
2 - Full Class-A uniforms which includes dress shirt, dress pants, belt, tie, gloves, shoes, hat, and badge

As entertaining as that was I decided to catalog all of my fire and rescue clothing and I came to this total:

Cabin John Park Volunteer Fire Department
3 - s/s T-Shirts
2 - Polo Shirts
1 - Sweatshirt
2 - s/s button up dress shirt
1 - l/s button up dress shirt
1 - pair of gym shorts
1 - Flexfit Hat
1 - Knitcap
1 - Hideous lime-green rain jacket

Sterling Volunteer Rescue Squad
1 - s/s T-Shirt

Charlie Rouss Fire Company
2 - s/s/ T-Shirts

Fauquier County DFES
4 - s/s T-Shirts
2 - s/s Polo Shirts
1 - l/s Polo Shirt
1 - Job Shirt
1 - Flexfit Hat
1 - Knit Hat
1 - Fauquier County Charity Poke Run T-Shirt

Red Truck Wildfire
2 - s/s T-Shirts
1 - Sweatshirt

Antarctic Fire Department
4 - s/s T-Shirts
1 - Job Shirt
1 - Pair Sweatpants
1 - Flexfit Hat
1 - Knit Cap


Yeah, so needless to say I just wasted an hour of my life looking at shit I've owned since 2002. Whoever said procrastination's fun is an idiot....just like me.

Intriguing Indeed...

I find myself pretty intriguingly when I look at how I handle bad and potentially devastating news regarding my family. Today, almost 10 minutes ago, I found out that my uncle as stomach cancer. The same uncle who's been in my life, day in and day out since I came to my family in September of 1985. The same uncle who to this day gives me $20 or $40 dollars when ever he sees me. The same uncle who promised my dad as he laid on his death bed that he'd look out for me while my dad was gone. It's weird because ever since my dad died I've always said I'd never let anyones death sneak up on me again...yet with this news, I don't feel anything on the inside yet. I've heard the news. I've heard the words. They're in my head...but not in my heart yet. I don't know how I do it. I guess I can consider it a good thing considering the stress I've sorta been under the past week or so. I'd ask my uncle if he wants me to stay but I know what his answer would be and I know he'd be pissed if I did stay for him so despite how selfish it sounds I won't even ask the question. I guess I won't say anything about it at all really. This is once again something that I'll have to bring up with God and God alone...

5 days left...

Asides from a small argument into which I got roped, yesterday was pretty nice. I slept most of the morning, went fishing before duty crew, went to duty crew and ended the night pretty peacefully. Today being Monday means that all I can do now is count down the days, again, till I leave the area. It's funny that even though I have a shit load of things I need (maybe want) to do, I've still be slacking quite a bit. My to-do list is actually quite long but the things I really need to get done are as follows:

Pack!
Figure out what I need to pack for post-Antarctica and how I'll get it down there
Figure what I need to put in storage in Christchurch
Figure out a new budget for post-Antarctica travels
Pack!

Today's gone pretty good so hopefully the rest of the week will stay this way.

T-Minus 6 Days

As usual, another morning and I feel great considering how I was feeling the day/night before. I was hoping to hang out with a specific someone today but I don't see that happening at all before I leave let a lone this afternoon. So today will be spent going over my pack list, actually beginning to pack, and reading my Participants guide again. I'll probably end up going to a book store to pick up a Lonely Planet's guide to Spain for I really need to start planning out the details on my Moroccan trip. As I found my self doing before I left for Idaho, I'm start to list all the 'lasts' I'll be experiencing this week. For example: tonight will be the last Sunday night I'll experience at the firehouse and in Virginia for about 5 months. Coming back made me realize how much I miss the firehouse. I hope I'll be able to have a family down on the ice like I do in Ashburn. Visiting Inja yesterday was pretty awesome. Inja told me several months ago about a spot behind the Italian embassy to go bouldering so I'm going to try to hit that place up sometime this week before I leave. A friend of mine I met in Boise actually moved to D.C. a few weeks ago so it'd be nice to hang out with him before I leave as well. Well, T-minus 6 days and counting till I leave...

Well, I thought that bout of depression would have stopped by last night but it's kept me feeling pretty shitty for most of the day and night. I don't know what it is or why. All I can do is just sit and sulk in it hoping for it to subside. I went to a party thrown by a friend of mine in Maryland and that definiitely helped a bit. So did visiting another friend in Dupont Circle. After I left for home it just hit me again. I don't know. Hopefully the morning will hold a whole new day for me...

Every once in a while, I suffer a bout of depression that last usually no longer than a few hours or half a day. I think it has to do with my dad since I only started experiencing them shortly after he died. Tonight's one of those nights. I didn't feel like going out and doing anything. Watching 10 episodes of Grey's Anatomy didn't help either. Soon it will pass and tomorrow will be another day. A week from tomorrow I'll be on my way to Denver and eventually Antarctica. It's still an unbelievable feeling...especially after trying to predict where you'll be a week or a month from now. Now I spend my days relaxing, hanging out at the firehouse, and packing. I thought I was going to have to do more to get ready but I guess every thing I've been doing the past couple of months has pretty much made ready to leave. Man what an adventure this is going to be...

Counting Down the Days

Finally Raytheon has confirmed my tickets and travel itinerary. So that was it. That was the final step. In 9 days (and counting) I leave home for another 4 months. Saturday, 29 Sept. I fly from Dulles to Denver for new member orientation. Monday I fly from Denver to Christchurch, NZ only to arrive in Christchurch Wednesday morning, New Zealand time. Then Friday the 5th, I fly from Christchurch to McMurdo Station, AQ. It's funny because it's still hard to believe that I'm going to be working in Antarctica. I think I'm ready....I think. I have to pack and take care of a few other things but other than that, nothings really stopping me from being ready to leave. There are a lot of people I want to see. But I definitely won't have time. There's one person who is really one of the only reasons I even came back to Virginia for but now she may not even be able to spend time with me which is a bummer but I'm here now and there's not much I can do about that. 3 months ago I would've been dying to hang out with CJ but since there was really no effort to stay in contact with me on her part, I really don't care right now nor does she probably care as well. Now, it's a matter of counting down the days...

Back Home

Well I did what people thought I wouldn't do and I made it back...in one piece even. The season was great. It was better than I imagined. I had a blast and I even have jobs lined up for next year. I miss my crew already. On the other hand it's great to be back home. A little weird having been away for 4 months, but still great none the less. Now I can spend time getting ready to head south. Coming back made me realize how much I'm going to miss being around Ashburn. I've spent the better parts of 5 years hanging around the firehouse and last night was a reminder of both how much I did miss the place and how much I'm going to miss the place while I'm gone.

September Finally

Well it's September finally. The unofficial end to summer (Autumnal Equinox isn't till the 21st technically). In less than 14 days, my fire season will be over. By the end of the month, I'll be on my way to Antarctica...leaving the states and stable society behind. As I write this I'm sitting in our engine while it's getting washed and rid of "noxious" weeds to keep them here in the Sawtooth National Forest. Unfortunately we don't have another fire to head to so we'll be heading home until we get dispatched for something. The funny thing is, if we go somewhere today, I'd drive straight back to Boise tomorrow evening for tomorrow marks the end of my 14-day tour...the last 14 I'd work this year. Tuesday would start another tour which would end on the 13th with me being east bound and down for D.C. on the 14th. Hopefully, I'll be able to buy the trailer I've been blabbing about on my time off. Although I had been pretty excited about heading straight home, my friend Dan brought forward the idea of rendevouxing with him in Seneca Rocks, WV for a day of climbing. Me coming from the west coast, him heading to OSU, what a perfect meeting place. East coast, here I come...