Intriguing Indeed...

I find myself pretty intriguingly when I look at how I handle bad and potentially devastating news regarding my family. Today, almost 10 minutes ago, I found out that my uncle as stomach cancer. The same uncle who's been in my life, day in and day out since I came to my family in September of 1985. The same uncle who to this day gives me $20 or $40 dollars when ever he sees me. The same uncle who promised my dad as he laid on his death bed that he'd look out for me while my dad was gone. It's weird because ever since my dad died I've always said I'd never let anyones death sneak up on me again...yet with this news, I don't feel anything on the inside yet. I've heard the news. I've heard the words. They're in my head...but not in my heart yet. I don't know how I do it. I guess I can consider it a good thing considering the stress I've sorta been under the past week or so. I'd ask my uncle if he wants me to stay but I know what his answer would be and I know he'd be pissed if I did stay for him so despite how selfish it sounds I won't even ask the question. I guess I won't say anything about it at all really. This is once again something that I'll have to bring up with God and God alone...