Alone

Well, it's Midnight and the wind hasn't let up yet. I slightly overestimated the weather down here on the ice shelf. The wind is blowing around 45 mph sustained and the temp is down to -25. Station 2 doesn't have a bathroom in it. The bathrooms we use are in another trailer about 45 meters away from the station (I've decided to try to get in the habit of using the metric system…one step closer to easier travelling) which makes having to pee pretty interesting. In this type of wind and cold, it makes it near impossible to open your eyes when you're facing the wind. By the time I make it to the bathroom and back, I'm completely dusted in wind-drifted snow. We were supposed to get another plane in tonight but they have decided to stay at the South Pole station until tomorrow.

I called my mother a few minutes ago and I'm beginning to feel bad for doing so considering I don't have a calling card yet and I have to call collect every time. With everything I'm going through now it's really great to hear her voice. I'm still having a pretty hard time dealing with the death of my uncle. The sad thing is is that it really hasn't hit me yet that he's gone. I went through the same thing with my dad. I'm still going through the same thing with my dad. There were times at home when I'd hear my mother open the front door after getting home and I'd think it was my dad coming home from working with my uncle. My mother told me that the funeral is tomorrow (Monday) which really is tearing me apart considering that I wasn't there for those last moments with him, I wasn't there to be with my family as they grieved, and I won't be there when he's buried. Right now, all the other problems in my life are pretty petty compared the pain I'm feeling over my uncle and even after hanging out with my neighbors and her and our friends last night, even after the days and nights before with my friends, I feel pretty alone….a feeling I haven't felt since my dad died.