3 Years

As customary for myself the past couple of years, I've usually spent my April's in a somber mood. This month is nothing different. Today in particular has been rough for me. Today is the anniversary of my father's death in 2006. As I have spent today packing and getting ready for the drive out to Utah in a few days, I've found myself distracted several times today...sometimes to the point where I couldn't focus on the simplest of tasks and activities. I've been thinking about the things I would love to talk to and show him. I've thought about the things I've been dying to ask him ever since he died. For this year in particular, I've been thinking about the extremes of life and death; primarily his death and Maleigha's (my daughter) birth. In a few days I'm going to see her which will be very rough. Every time I think about her or talk about her with her mother, I think of my dad.

Now, I describe this time as somber...not dark or depressing just somber. I look at the positive side of his death. Growing up and maturing out of necessity, becoming closer to my mother, doing things with my life I would have never thought possible...I thank God and him for all of those things. This day will come and go and my thoughts and feelings today will definitely ebb and flow but for the next 5 hours I'll definitely be thinking a lot about him and everything he's done for me.