Anxiety, the Future, and the Now

I listen to a lot of Coldplay when I'm down or in in one of my regular funks. I really didn't notice it until recently. Sometimes (like now) I don't realize I'm in a funk until I listen to We Never Change or spies over and over again. Today is no different. The week, on the other hand, was pretty good. SAR tryouts are behind me. I still have no idea as to whether or not I made the team. I've spent a lot of my time on my computer planning around my education goals for next semester as well as the next couple of years. Nursing School is a definite...one way or the other. I'm still trying to ascertain from the National Registry of EMTs(NREMT) if I can use my Registered Nurse (RN) certification and "challenge" to test out for a NREMT-Paramedic certifications in lieu of having to take a RN to NREMT-P bridge or, heaven forbid, a complete Paramedic course. I've also toyed with the idea of doing something crazy like working towards my A.A.S. in Fire Science at the same time. Granted, loading my semester like that is going to be a bitch and a half but I think it will be worth it spending as little time "sitting still" as possible. I've been dreading the thought of sitting in a classroom having to interact with a bunch of other students for the past month or so that I have been thinking about school. I really don't know why. I think it's just the way I think and the way I live my life and not wanting to be around scores of people who revolve around the notion that life is all about getting a job you'll spend the next quarter-century at, creating a family, and settling down. I think that, then I get mad at myself for judging a whole group of people I don't know...yet I still have the anxiety of possibly having to "settle down" even if it's only for a couple years. What's worse is thinking about settling down for another couple of years after that to work on my residency or gain experience. I've been slowly teaching myself to relax and not jump to conclusions about my life in the future back home for school. So far (so far being a week or so) it has been working. I'm pretty excited to go back to school.

The weather has been pretty warm here (relatively speaking of course). It has yet to crest 20 but it has been in the high teens. I've been doing a lot of work outside in nothing more than my uniform pants, normal boxers, and a short-sleeve t-shirt. The skuas and seals are out in full force. Thursday night while waiting for a shuttle to head over to the New Zealand base, we watched a Skua attack from start to finish. We saw the 'victim' walk out of Building 155 with food in his hand. We saw the two skuas on the roof eying his food and their future meal. Realizing the ensuing hilarity none of the 7 of us said a word. Within several seconds, the skua had dive bombed the victims food, a piece of cheesecake, grab the cake in one fell swoop, and flew several yards away where it and it's amigo chowed down on their score. The entire thing was quite possibly the funniest damn thing I've seen all season. Of course now, I'm paranoid whenever I walk outside. Yes, life here is good. Despite my funks or bouts of depression, I'm having a great time and enjoying myself