Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving...at least down here it is. Today everyone in town will be eating dinner in the galley within a 3 hour period surrounded by new and old friends as they think about their families. I can only think about mine and so far today has been turning out to be one of the worst days in my life within the past couple of years. For the second thanksgiving in a row, someone is missing out of my life. It was hard enough to get through last thanksgiving without my dad, now it's even more gutwrenching to get through this one without my Uncle James. What makes things even worse for both my mother and I, this is the first thanksgiving in my life that I haven't celebrated without my mother or the rest of my family. That has been fucking me up inside for the past 12 hours. I haven't slept and I really don't feel like eating. A [what I like to consider a close friend] friend and I had a pretty big argument and a falling out yesterday and that's been eating me up inside to the point where that and the accumulation of everything else has left me pretty depressed this morning. Right now, I really don't want to be around a single person. I don't even want to be on the continent right now. I gotta find someway to be alone today just to clear my head. I hear the chapel is pretty quiet usually which is good considering God and I have some conversing to do. I'm not going to eat dinner tonight because I don't want to be around a couple hundred people when there are 4 people back home that are missing 3 people from the dinner table for the first time in our family history. I'm going to call my mother and maybe go to the sauna. Other than that, I'm going to lay low. Happy Thanksgiving everyone and stay safe.