Breaking Point

I feel I've reached a breaking point in my life. I've tried hard over the past 7 months to justify as to why I didn't go back to McMurdo and why I'm not getting ready to head out west for another fire season. Hindsight, I look back and realize that they were just that: excuses. Now I will say being back has made me realize how much I love the friends I have here between friends from the fire department and friends from high school. I have, however, fallen into a mild depression from being away from everything that the DC area does not have: snow-capped mountains, endless deserts, fresh air, laid back outdoorsy people, etc. I also miss the adventures that come with those experiences whether one likes them or not. I feel people are probably getting tired of hearing about driving to Vegas on a regular basis from Cedar City, getting drunk with good people in Antarctica, losing my luggage on some international flight, watching sunsets in Rarotonga, exploring the Boise Night Life with fellow wildland firefighters, or living up dozens of other experiences I'll never forget. The past week or so, I have come to realize that these stories are masking my true feelings about being back home. I know what I need to do but it's hard to take that giant committing leap. I have applied for a Lieutenant's position with the Antarctic Fire Department again. This time I'd be heading down for the winfly season (early August). Who knows, I may even do something as crazy as staying for the winter as well! Don't get me wrong, I do love what the DC area has to offer...but there is more to life than the metro area...and when you get a taste of it, well, that addiction is hard to shake...