Anxiety, the Future, and the Now

I listen to a lot of Coldplay when I'm down or in in one of my regular funks. I really didn't notice it until recently. Sometimes (like now) I don't realize I'm in a funk until I listen to We Never Change or spies over and over again. Today is no different. The week, on the other hand, was pretty good. SAR tryouts are behind me. I still have no idea as to whether or not I made the team. I've spent a lot of my time on my computer planning around my education goals for next semester as well as the next couple of years. Nursing School is a definite...one way or the other. I'm still trying to ascertain from the National Registry of EMTs(NREMT) if I can use my Registered Nurse (RN) certification and "challenge" to test out for a NREMT-Paramedic certifications in lieu of having to take a RN to NREMT-P bridge or, heaven forbid, a complete Paramedic course. I've also toyed with the idea of doing something crazy like working towards my A.A.S. in Fire Science at the same time. Granted, loading my semester like that is going to be a bitch and a half but I think it will be worth it spending as little time "sitting still" as possible. I've been dreading the thought of sitting in a classroom having to interact with a bunch of other students for the past month or so that I have been thinking about school. I really don't know why. I think it's just the way I think and the way I live my life and not wanting to be around scores of people who revolve around the notion that life is all about getting a job you'll spend the next quarter-century at, creating a family, and settling down. I think that, then I get mad at myself for judging a whole group of people I don't know...yet I still have the anxiety of possibly having to "settle down" even if it's only for a couple years. What's worse is thinking about settling down for another couple of years after that to work on my residency or gain experience. I've been slowly teaching myself to relax and not jump to conclusions about my life in the future back home for school. So far (so far being a week or so) it has been working. I'm pretty excited to go back to school.

The weather has been pretty warm here (relatively speaking of course). It has yet to crest 20 but it has been in the high teens. I've been doing a lot of work outside in nothing more than my uniform pants, normal boxers, and a short-sleeve t-shirt. The skuas and seals are out in full force. Thursday night while waiting for a shuttle to head over to the New Zealand base, we watched a Skua attack from start to finish. We saw the 'victim' walk out of Building 155 with food in his hand. We saw the two skuas on the roof eying his food and their future meal. Realizing the ensuing hilarity none of the 7 of us said a word. Within several seconds, the skua had dive bombed the victims food, a piece of cheesecake, grab the cake in one fell swoop, and flew several yards away where it and it's amigo chowed down on their score. The entire thing was quite possibly the funniest damn thing I've seen all season. Of course now, I'm paranoid whenever I walk outside. Yes, life here is good. Despite my funks or bouts of depression, I'm having a great time and enjoying myself

Fire, The Weekend, School, Work

Today is day 3 of 5 spent away from the trials and tribulations experienced during the peak hours of the Antarctic Fire Department. On top of my normal Saturday Kelly Day I have tryouts again for the Joint Antarctic Search and Rescue Team tomorrow. Considering I didn't make it last year, I'm hoping this year will be different. The weekend has been fun for me. Friday night we had a fire and major hazardous materials incident in one of our science research facilities. I can't go into any more detail than that because the official report has yet to be released but all I can say is it was a major incident for us. Yesterday I spent my afternoon in Snow Craft and Sea Ice refresher classes. Asides from the fire on Friday the weekend has been pretty slow. I've spent a lot of it thinking about school, work, and home for after the 2009 fire season. With everything I've done in the past couple years, I'm hoping my resume proves exotic enough for the employers I'm looking at. Oh well...

The Good Life in McMurdo

Life here in McMurdo is great. The few calls we get and the circus games of vehicular issues we play keep life at the fire department exciting and fresh. Election day (which was Wednesday our time) was really exciting to follow. Because of the close quarters of our base (in comparison to any other town in the Washington Metropolitan Area) the energy in the air here was amazing. I gave up on any of the American news outlets in favor for the BBC considering that they had a constant live feed of the action back in the states rather than a website that updated every few minutes or so. I had said to a few people down here that I thought it was pretty cool to get to say that, "I was in Antarctica" when I found out that Barack Obama became our nation's first black president. At first I didn't believe it (partly because of my natural skepticism for anything sans irrefutable proof). I mean, I found out from a girl standing on a chair in our galley shouting it out. Yeah, I'm sure that seems a legitimate reason to believe but had still remained skeptical. Either way, it was pretty amazing to hear the amount of people cheering at Dinner.

The days are passing by quite pleasantly...a step up from the beginning of last season. I've been thinking about climbing a lot and what my travels when I redeploy before coming back home. I've been able to relax my mind (when I'm not at work) a lot more down here. My thoughts have ranged from skiing hills and slopes I see as I drive around Ross Island to school next fall to performing yoga while stuck on a portaledge 800 feet off the ground. I've been working out, I've been eating healthy...I've been happy....and I have McMurdo to thank for that.

Antarctic Fire Department Vehicles

There are days when I love my job, then there are days I resent the silly shit that manages to happen on a daily basis. Today, my bitches, gripes, and complaints belong with the vehicles of the Antarctic Fire Department. Somehow, when ever we get something back from the Vehicle Maintenance Facility (VMF), two vehicles go out of service in return. Today I've been dealing with, primarily, one of our tracked Aircraft Rescue and Firefighting (ARFF) vehicles, Red 2:

From Antarctica - Austral Summer 2007-2008

We brought it in for brake, oil pressure, and other issues regarding the foam delivery system (primarily the turret) from Williams Field. To give you a brief rundown of the vehicle, it's over 20 years old. It weighs in excess of 80,000 lbs and it tops out at about 8 mph. It's over an hour ride out to Williams Skiway in Red 2 and damn near an hour and a half to two hours out to Pegasus. Today, I almost caught it on fire when I was driving it back from the VMF to the firehouse and the parking brake engaged on its own (unbeknown to me). I didn't find out till I smelled the brakes burning and I saw the plume of smoke bellowing from underneath the vehicle. Within 30 minutes of it leaving the VMF, it got picked up and brought straight back. So now, being the only person in station qualified to drive it and the only person that's familiar with the parking break problem (this is the 3rd time in the past couple weeks this has happened, I am privileged to drive this 40 ton piece of shit back out to Pegasus...at 2300 hrs. I can't even begin to imagine what else can happen to the vehicles tonight. On top of that we have 2 engines without a working pump, 1 engine with a tank that has more holes than a spaghetti strainer, a nodwell that's leaking foam, a van that just likes to die whenever it feels like, an Renegade with a broken radio, and 2 ambulances that are running on their last legs (or wheels I guess). The best part is the season has only begun...

Election Day

It's near mid afternoon Wednesday here in McMurdo which means it's Tuesday evening back home. That means election day! Even this far away (9,186 miles to be exact courtesy of Google Earth) people are ecstatic over the results to come. As I talk to a good friend of mine, I can't help but think how relieved I am to not be anyone close to the Washington DC Metropolitan area at the moment, yet at the same time, I feel I'm missing out on a possible momentous occasion to celebrate not only as a town or region but as a country in general within the borders of the US...if that makes any sense. It does feel good to be down here though. For one, it feels good to say that I put forth the effort to cast an absentee ballot so that my vote can count whilst I reside on the 7th continent. It also feels good to be able to say I was in Antarctica during the most historical election in our history. Today, being my day off, will be spent keeping a close eye on the polls, celebrating the end of 8 years of embarrassment, celebrating a historic election however the outcome, and celebrating democracy in general. I'll try not to get too drunk though...I have to work tomorrow.

Station 2 - Tour 2

Today is the 2nd out of 3 possible consecutive shifts for myself out here at Station 2. Considering we're doing a full 24 hour shift out here versus opening the station at 1600 in the afternoon, I spent most of the day getting my crew and one of our new Lieutenants oriented to operations here at the ski field. Fire and Rescue and Crash/Rescue operations out here can prove to be pretty complex between the military's requirements of us, our staffing, our equipment (or lack there off), and what we're responsible for. To elaborate, the United States Air Force and the Air National Guard with the aircraft they have residing here at the airfield require 6 people minimum and a certain amount of foam available for use within 2 minutes which means there are 6 people at station 2 24/7 throughout the duration of the military's presence. With the tracked vehicles we have, the agent (Compressed Air Foam and thousands of pounds of Purple K dry powder), we can take care of most aircraft emergencies. As far as structural fires are concerned here out at the airfield, we have to use equipment designed for cold-weather aircraft rescue and firefighting (ARFF) to the best of our (and the equipment's) ability. We're also responsible for emergency medical services (EMS) out here on the airfield and most of the snow and ice roads that lead out to here, Williams Ski Field, from McMurdo Station. Both responsibilities drop our staffing if not completely take it away from our primary reason for being out here which is ARFF. Luckily, our call volume out here rarely crests 20 for the entire Austral Summer season. Anyways, today was spent familiarizing the crew with our various vehicles, the runway and ramp layout, emergency hard stand locations, airfield operations and procedures, and the "ice town" layout. Now, being 2000 hrs, we sit back watch movies and enjoy each other. Stay safe out there...

From Antarctica - Austral Summer 2007-2008

SPOT Satellite Messenger

I've said in the past that like any good blogger who's spends their fair share of time outdoors I would throw up a post on pieces of gear I own that impress me so I figured I'd start with the SPOT Satellite Messenger.





I dropped the $170 for this device because 1) it was a lot cheaper than most other Personal Locating Beacons (PLB) 2) It offered check-in, tracking, and help features on top of standard 911/rescue features (unlike any other PLB on the market) and 3) I spend so much time out in the wilds by myself that I figured it was good insurance for myself and that of the minds of my friends and parents. It proved fairly accurate (which I had hoped for the price I paid) but the most impressive thing I found about it was when I tried the Check In/I'm Ok feature of the device it actually captured a satellite down here which I believe to be out of it's coverage area.:



View Larger Map

So for $170 (plus $99 for the annual subscription and $7 for worldwide rescue insurance) I thought it was well worth the money for a little piece of mind that will cover your ass most of the world over...

Life Now and Post-Winter

Last year, the Antarctic Fire Department reached some amount of normalcy when we opened Station Two out at Williams Field. Honored to do so (I can't even tell if that's sarcasm or not) I led the first shift through the inaugural opening of Station 2 for the season. Last night saw the arrival of the first 4 LC-130 Hercules for the season with more to come in the following month. As typical of station 2, it was a quiet night. Today I spend most of it preparing my resume and sending emails.

To elaborate on my process of applying for wildland jobs, there are several things I'm looking to do for next year. For the most part, I loved working for Zion Helitack. Despite a few minor differences in the beginning, in the end, I felt a lot closer to my crewmmates and leaders to the point where I miss them now. I would be more than honored to go back next summer. I figured, however, it wouldn't hurt to apply to a few places that I figure I'd enjoy. A fellow McMurdo resident who also works as a wildland firefighter during the summer gave me the advice to apply to place I would want to work in the future and not necessarily next year so that if my name kept showing up on the "cert" of people that apply, I'd be more recognizable. Like I said in my post before, I was aiming pretty high as far as positions, crews, and my qualifications are concerned. So far, I've applied to:

Boise BLM Smokejumpers

Alaska BLM Smokejumpers

Arroyo Grande Helishots

Bridgeport Interagency Helitack

McCall Smokejumperes

Missoula Smokejumpers

Region 5 Smokejumpers

Redmond Smokejumpers

West Yellowstone Smokejumpers

North Cascade Smokejumpers

Grangeville Smokejumpers

Wenatchee Valley Rapellers

Gallatin Rappel Crew


As well as Rappel/Helitack Crews in...


Mountain View, WY

Challis, ID

Hailey, ID


I haven't really thought about or planned what I'd do if I actually get a job offer with these crews but I'll play that by ear if that ever happens. For now, I'm still planning on returning to Zion. I guess for now my tentative plan for the fall is to return to DC for Nursing and/or Paramedic school for a couple years. Will see if that happens too...

Skiing!

I've been here for almost a month and I finally got out to ski today! It felt great to get out of town for a few hours. I was hoping to get some downhill in after skinning for a couple miles but by the time I had made it to the bottom of the hill we were skiing to my feet were done (keep in mind I had just bought the boots I was wearing in August). I took off with a friend and co-worker Kelly Goodick and for the entire day we enjoyed a rare windless day. The temperature was definitely cold (sub-zero out on the ice shelf) but with no wind it and constant movement, it was easily bearable. Anyways, skiing today allowed me to release a lot of stress that had been built up since almost the first day since I had been back in a controlled way. Now if I can only find a hill...

Wildland Jobs: The Beginning

With November rearing it's lovely face in less than 45 minutes the time has begun to think about summer employment for the fire season. The only positions that really enticed to apply for where the Fairbanks, AK and the Boise, ID smokejumper positions. Now, I really don't want to hear the "You can do anything!" or "You'll so get the job!" from those of you that are optimistic no matter what because apply for the GS-5 position is aiming pretty high for me and what I'm qualified to do. I mean, this is beyond high...this is pretty much aiming out of the park. I figured, however, that at this stage in my life, anything can happen and it wouldn't hurt not to apply. Anyways, I learned from last years application bonanza how not to recreate those mistakes I made so this year should be much smoother. As of right now, I am undoubtedly returning to Zion Helitack but I am keeping my options open for those extraordinary positions and opportunities that may arise.

Stressful Day and a Welcome Weekend

The day's been pretty stressful. Between Myself and another Lieutenant in class (with me still running things while in class), anything that could go wrong, did. Between last minute cargo coming into the station, juggling more tasks than I thought possible for us, and apparatus crapping out on us, I was ready to pull what little hair I have out of my head. I'm glad it's 6 and, for the most part, the day is done. The chaos of the everyday operations of the place, however, does keep life interesting and exciting down here.

Anyways, I've been trying to get out to Castle Rock to ski but because of various logistical reasons haven't been able to get out that way. A fellow firefighter is willing and excited to go tomorrow so hopefully I'll be able to get out and come up with photos. More opportunities to get out are starting to surface with the warming of summer. Between that and everything that has been happening in the firehouse, it's looking to be a good season...

First Skua!

I don't know about other days before today but today I saw the first skua of the season! That means that summer is right around the corner. I'll try to snag a photo of one shortly....

Antarctic Happenings

We've made it a week without injuring or sending home another firefighter. That, my friends, makes it a good week. It's been prettying interesting so far this past week. There's been a lot of activity at Pegasus Airfield recently. The last C-17 that had landed here on Monday had a malfunctioning computer that grounded it out at the airfield for a few days. Fortunately we weren't forced to spend the night out at the airfield to babysit it while parts were found and delivered to McMurdo from New Zealand. Today, a Kiwi P-3 Orion, the same 4 engine turbo-prop used in wildland firefighting as heavy air tankers, brought down the replacement computer for the brokedown C-17. The Bassler and the two Twin Otters operated by Kenn Borek Air, Ltd have been hanging out at Pegasus while Williams Field is in preparation to open at the end of this week. Monday saw the arrival of the Italian Passengeres heading over to their base in Terra Nova Bay. This week also marks the arrival of a South African C-130 That may be heading over to Davis Station, run by the Australians, for a Medevac almost 3 weeks in the making. As it was put to me by some of the more senior members in the McMurdo community, a major undertaking like this medevac for one person usually brings other bases/countries out of the woodwork who are looking for medical evacuations for their own people. So speaking along the terms of rumors, it looks like the Russians (after a fire that killed one person and severely burnt two others) are looking to medevac a couple people and maybe the Chinese but as of right now that's highly speculated considering the source of that information. It's amazing how many different countries we work with down here. Hopefully it will stay this interesting for the rest of the season considering it's only the beginning...

McMurdo - Friends and Family

I've been heinously slacking in the journal entry department and for that I apologize. Certainly a lot has happened since my last post on the 14th and it's had me on one of my regular emotional rollercoasters that both plague my life and describe and make up all that is me. Last week, one of our firefighters, a subordinate of mine and someone with whom I was becoming pretty good friends, was injured when his leg was run over by a matt-tracked vehicle. It was a hard time for a lot of us...especially thsoe that had worked with him over winfly. He was medevaced the next day and I believe by now he's bearing weight on it and is walking around. Within a week later we were medevacing another firefighter out for a serious illness. So far the more serious medevacs have been within the fire department which has taken a toll on us both mentall and administratively. On the positive side of things, I've definitely renewed my love for the place. Like I said before, when I first got here, I was inundated by a wave of relief. Not so much relief from traveling but more relief to be back home. I settled back into a normal routine of things. With Station 2 opening up on Tuesday and everyone getting up to speed and in their own routines, life is a lot less chaotic for a turn of, shockingly, organization and efficiency. I've made a lot of good friends and have rekindled old friendships. I've been thinking about my family a lot. This month mark's the one year anniversary of my uncle James Pittman passing away. This month is also my parents annivesary...the second one my mother (and I) have had to experience since he passed away in 2006. With the friends I've made here, I wouldn't have been able to stay sane and keep smiling.

Week One

It's been nearly a week since I've been back and I've been inundated with nothing but managerial tasks that have me catching up with the rest of the firefighters that have been here for a month or longer at a ridiculous rate. I'm slowly picking up where I left off as far as ideas and projects within the firehouse. At the same time, I'm taking on new responsibilities and forging new personal and professional relationships...both in and outside of the firehouse. This year has proved to be a hell of a lot warmer than last year. We've been averaging daily temperatures around 0 degrees plus or minus 5 degrees or so. I've been walking around in a normal ball cap and sometimes even a short sleeve T-Shirt. There seems to be a little more tension amongst people this year than last, however. Because of an apparently crappy win-fly season, there seems to be a lot of resentment from the winter-overs and winfly folks towards the summer employees...more so than last year. Hopefully this will all subside by the time Halloween comes around.

While I was away from Antarctica, I was constantly thinking about the place. I have certain "photos" engraved in my memory (some forever) but they don't compare to the real thing; actually seeing those images rather than imagining them in some lesser mental format.









It's not as cold as one would think by the looks of these pictures. With the proper clothing and acclimatization you'd be amazed what you're body can comfortably tolerate. Surprisingly I didn't take my first photo till about two days after I had gotten down here. I promise though I'll post up more as the season progresses. Everyone stay safe...

McMurdo Station

After 7 days in transit I finally made it to McMurdo. This time no shock from the cold air, no awe-inspiring moments that freeze you in place...just complete and utter relief. As I described it to a friend, not so much relief to be out of Christchurch but a relief from society. I also felt like I hadn't left the place. Riding back from Pegasus Airfield back into town just felt like I had been on an extended "boondoggle". The first thing I was able to notice through the frosted windows of the delta we were riding was the radar dome that sits above town. It was great familiar site. At first I didn't know why until I started to see the ice pier, the chain-link orca sculpture at the intersection of the transition road and the ice pier road, and the dorm rooms. Then it finally hit me, that warm feeling that brough ease to mind and smile to my face: the feeling of being home. For now, I'm pretty busy with trying to get squared away so more will come. Hell, I'm amazed I found the time to sit down in front of a computer...but I couldn't wait to share how great it feels to be back here at McMurdo Station.

Boomeranged

As figured, the second I get comfortable with the possibility of actually arriving in McMurdo we get boomeranged back to Christchurch. We made it to a point within 30 minutes of McMurdo when the decision was made to turn around. I didn't find out until a few hours after I got back to Christchurch that the weather down at Pegasus Field was actually condition 2 which explains the 9 hour joyride we got to experience this morning. So now, we sit and wait to try again for tomorrow. We're scheduled to fly out at 1000 tomorrow morning (which had been bumped up from 8) so hopefully I'll be eating dinner in Building 155 tomorrow evening. We'll see...

Crossed Fingers....still in NZ

Today is something like our 6th last day in Christchurch before we're suppose to fly out tomorrow morning. For some reason people are more optimistic over the possibility of the first flight actually making it down to McMurdo. I'll believe that when I that C-17 sitting on the ramp in front of the USAP hangar at the airport. It's been getting annoying, actually, listening to everyone ask the same questions and getting their hopes up only to realize that forces unbeknown to us keep delaying our flights. I can't bitch too much because I was one of those people up until 3 or 4 days ago when I came to the realization that I'll get down there when I get down there. Anyways, the first flight [supposedly] left at 0900 this morning. Us on the 2nd flight have to check out of our hotels by 2200 tonight to get ready to fly down at an absurd 0200 Wednesday morning. At first I was sorta dreading having an entire day with not much really to do after I unpack. I really just want to get to work to be honest. I figure I'll have plenty of time to work so I might as well enjoy the day. For now, I'm still in New Zealand. I'm not even going to pack until 2100 tonight so that I know for a fact that my flight will actually be leaving on time. In other words, my fingers are crossed.

Still in Christchurch...

Well, I was hoping to be sharing with you stories about reunions 9 months in the making and snow-swept scenery as well as absurd bitter cold...but I've spent the past 4 days in Christchurch and not in McMurdo like I was suppose be. As a matter of fact the first flight (I'm the second) hasn't even left Christchurch yet. Supposedly, there is an epic storm that keeps plaguing McMurdo and the skies in between us that hasn't allowed any of the prior attempts at getting down there to succeed. So now...we wait. Because of this situation, there are about 300 Americans running rampant around Christchurch running out of constructive things to do. Because of the back up, we keep filling up all of the hotels in town and we keep having to move hotels every couple of days. Between that and waking up early in the morning to receive our per diem money, this entire situation is becoming a huge pain in the ass. On the brighter side, I'm enjoying a paid vacation in Christchurch, NZ without having to pay for a single thing! Oh well...no ice stories yet but hopefully they will come....soon, I hope.

Weather Delays and Christchurch...

Our fears for the day were confirmed when we were informed that our flight for Thursday was canceled. As a matter of fact, the weather in McMurdo is so bad that the group of people slated to fly down on Tuesday were boomeranged back to Christchurch today (Wednesday) and it doesn't look like they'll be leaving tomorrow. Because of this situation, we all have to leave our hotels and await new reservations tomorrow when we pick up our per diem from the USAP Clothing Distribution Center. Some people see this as a blessing to receive more time to hang around New Zealand. Myself and a few others just want to get down there and start working.

Anyways, today was spent receiving my Extreme Cold Weather gear and walking around Christchurch. The city is a lot of fun. Friendly people, a DC-ish vibe (sorta like Georgetown or Adams Morgan minus the rich Abercrombie snobs, crime, and homeless people), and really clean, pedestrian friendly streets. The nights here have been spent at a couple of different bars around the area including a bar called Bailey's which boasts a lot of USAP paraphernalia and offers USAP Participant's discounted drinks. It even has slots from which I won $100 tonight. The one thing I truly value about being in another country is the opportunity to talk with other people about their opinions and views on the US. I talked a couple older Aussies about our current financial situation and the upcoming elections. Talking to people from other countries about our problems and hearing them talk in incredibly specific details about said issues only reinforces the fact that our world is entirely too small for our national issues not to affect other countries. Like my new found Australian friend said, "When Wall Street sneezes, the entire world catches a cold..."

I'm praying we get down to McMurdo soon. If there's anything I hate more about traveling, it's being in transit. Christchurch is a cool place but I can't wait to get home...even if it is a home I'll only be living in for 5 months...