Bozeman

It seems I can't escape snowfall no matter where I go. As I sit here in Bozeman peering out of the window of my friend's house, I can't help but wonder when it will warm up. This morning started out amazingly sunny...I feel sorta bad now that I rolled over and went back to sleep. By noon, the sun went away and a pretty ferocious thunderstorm visited the area for about an hour. Now being 1345 I staring at snow; big, honking flakes of snow. I don't know what today will hold. I'm waiting for my friend to get back from work. We have today together before I drive the 10 hours back to Cedar City so hopefully it will be something good. It's sorta frustrating being on a time crunch. I wish I had more than a day to spend up here. I wish I had more time to drive back home (I passed soo many places to fly fish right of the road) but, alas, duty calls. This week (at least today), all of Southern Utah is under a Red Flag Warning for extreme fire weather behavior. Hopefully we'll get some storm systems to come through and give us some work....

"Kill All Niggers"

A lot of people ask me why I'm sometimes pretty paranoid about certain areas I travel to or through being a person of color. Sometimes I wonder myself. Seeing "Kill All Niggers" sprawled across a bathroom wall in Idaho sort of reinforces my worries...

Busy and Restless

Man what a random set of days I've had in the past few. Our last day of SAR training on Thursday came with a few surprises. The first one was snow:






I knew it was suppose to storm the night before...just not that kind of percipitation. I awoke to about 2 inches of snow on the ground that was steadily melting. The hills behind our house look like those out of the rocky mountains below the timber line.

Nothing necessarily with the class, however. Our class finished up normally. We worked more with raising systems and Mechanical Advantages and we added a stokes basket in the mix. The day before, however, drained me pretty physically...so much to the point where I laid down at 1900 to take a nap only to wake up at 0600 the next morning. When I woke up, I was pretty groggy and out of it. So much that I was walking down my stairs to get in my car when I realized I had put my boots on my socked feet without any pants on what soever. After correcting that issue. I got into my car only to neglect a few missed phone calls (Sorry Anna) including one from my boss to head into the air center before I left for class because I was to head out to Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument to help with a project for a permitee leasing the land (It's a BLM monument) for grazing rights. After I woke up a little later on that morning it dawned on me what was fully going on. I left class from the park and drove for 3 hours (1 of them being down a dirt washboard road for 40 miles) till I finally met up with the rest of my crew. What we were doing was we were sling loading a whole bunch of shit (And I mean that in every sense of the word) up on top of this mesa for this guy to build a cabin of some sort to run his grazing operation. When I say shit I mean just that. This dude had cut up sections of a 40 foot steel millvan container, he had random pieces of word and furniture...it was amazing. The most amazing part of it all were the two air freight containers he somehow acquired that he wanted us to fly:



It doesn't look big but that behemoth is 8 ft by 8 ft by 10 ft and ways 1050 lbs. The first day we tried flying it...after 2 hours of rigging it to fly, our helicopter had to turn around because they could make it up on the mesa with the winds. The next day we cut it in half and flew it that way. The second of the two containers we cut the plexiglass out of it and flew it that way. All in all, it was a good day for a lot of training took places while we worked this project. The one thing that did suck throughout the entire ordeal was that my camera broke about 2 hours before I took my first flight in N420RL (our helicopter). So no photos of the flight or the beautiful plot of land the permitee was taking care of.

Today was spent doing initial attack training and Cargo Let Down training. Cargo Let Down is a way to deliver supplies and equipment to firefighters from a helicopter with out having to deliver it at the end of a long line connected to the belly of the helicopter. The equipment can be carried inside the ship then "belayed" or lowered from the ship to the selected drop point on the ground. Our training consisted on selecting said drop points, guiding the helicopter in, and basic radio communications all around. After all was said and done we got to experience packing out all of that crap we had dropped which I'm sure we'll do sometime this summer on real calls. I think one load I packed out weighed 40 lbs in itself asides from my 35 lb pack and my 8 lb tool. Needless to say I'm beat. Today was the last day of my 4 day tour. Tomorrow I drive to Bozeman, MT for a couple days and I'll be back in Cedar City. Until then, every one stay safe...if not, whatever you do, do it here in SW Utah and start a fire...we're all getting restless...

SAR Class and the First Few Days of June...

Well June is here and we're slowly experiencing a warming trend in the area. The nights are definitely getting warmer and the days are getting hotter. We spent all of Sunday training: long lines, bucket work, etc. Monday was my much needed day off. Although i didn't do much (asides from spending $200 on food), it still felt pretty good just to bum around. Today was my first day of Search and Rescue training. I'm really glad and excited to have the opportunity to participate in this class. I've been drawn to technical rope rescue since I started my career in the fire and EMS service so this class, to me, is my calling. Tomorrow we'll spend all day on the far side of the park practicing lowering and hauling systems. Unfortunately, my dumb ass was running (or walking really fast....I don't remember) around my car when I tripped over a rock, caught my knee [cap] on my bike rack in my trailer hitch, and face planted into the concrete with a horrific sound. Luckily I didn't shed any blood....externally. I can feel my knee trying to swell and it's really hard to walk. I think my nose is broken and I might have a slight concussion (My head is pounding and I'm a little sensitive to light). I'm going to ride it out tonight and see how the morning fares for me. Either way, I'll be at that class dammit. As you can see, we don't have many fires going on right now and I don't have anything better to do...

Work and another Funk

Everyone knows the fire season is around the corner when the aviation resources start appearing at their summer homes. The SEATs have arrived at Cedar City!





Today, I finished up my Helicopter Crewmember class. I'm glad it's over now that I can start working on my taskbook. After class, hoping I'd be heading back to the air center to fly for the rest of the afternoon, I was "diverted" to the park to assist with a prescribed burn to kill off Cheat Grass in the park:





Despite how much I've been working and working out, I still can't shake off this slight depression or 'funk' I've been going through. I've been pretty anti-social the past couple of days. I have no desire or drive to do anything. The past 4 nights in a row, I'd get home, get changed, go to the gym, and walk past all of my roommates only to go to bed at 9 or 9:30 and wake up at 6:30. I feel pissed about something too. I don't know what but it's been affecting me a lot this past week. Hopefully I'll figure out what it is sometimes soon.

Our Helicopter Has Arrived....

...it actually showed up on Saturday but it's contract did not begin until today. The morning was spent getting the trucks ready to chase the helicopter. The afternoon was spent going over basics on being crew members and heading down to the park for a small project. I got my first taste of running a helibase: sitting on my ass for a couple hours only to get up and do something when the helicopter's refueling (when I say do something, I mean stand by a fire extinguisher). I did how ever get some interesting first photos of the helicopter for the season.






The way the crew flight rotation works, I won't be flying till either Saturday or Sunday (I normally don't work on Monday's and I'm in S-271/Helicopter Crewmember class Tomorrow through Friday). I've taught myself patience just due to the fact that I'll probably be sick of flying come September. Until then, I guess I'll just have to enjoy what it is I'm doing for a living...

A Day Off

When you only get one day off in between working, they feel like they're few and far in between. Today is my one day off before I work from Sunday (tomorrow) till Sunday (June 1st. I spent the morning sleeping in till 1100. Why you ask? Because I could. Even if I did go to bed at 1 AM. The early part of the afternoon was spent in Cedar Canyon which is about 14 miles outside of town. I had been searching for the way to the climbs within the canyon since I have been here but only recently with the purchase of a guide book on climbing in southwest Utah have I been able to actually get to the base of the climbs. With the book in hand, my roommate Rob and I headed into Cedar Canyon to check out the climbs. The routes seemed pretty high above our abilities and there weren't many trad routes either. After exploring the canyon, hiking, and some practice gear placements on the few cracks we found near the base of the rocks, we headed back into town in anticipation of a night of beers and relaxation. Not bad for a day off...

Hard Day with Good Pay!

Today, which was originally planned as a day of burning off a huge prescribed burn lot, was spent digging a 1/4 mile fireline down a steep-ass hill for several hours only to have the burn canceled on us. What made matters worse after we began our arduous hike back up the line we just made, it snowed it's ass off:









Driving seemed more treacherous than walking. At one point in time we couldn't see the other side of the 10 acre meadow we were driving across. So to recap, fireline dug that's not going to be used, freezing cold and snow, but 10 1/2 hours of overtime!

Another Day on the Job

Today was a slow day. As usual, the morning was spent in the gym with the crew followed by a 2.5 mile back to the base. As slow a day as it was, the morning was spent working on various projects around the base. My exciting project was labeling the recycling cans around the base! I actually like minuscule projects like that. They allow me some time to sit or chill by myself and think. You all know how I value my thinking time. After that, I drove over from the air center to the main fire center to take care of some of my certification issues as well as my Incident Qualification Card. After lunch, we started to have some fun. We were supposed to head into a canyon to do some saw work for a fuels project the BLM was going to do but because of the weather (raining and cold), we decided to do a project of our own:





Since the bushes around the helicopter pad can only be so high, our manager thought it would be a great training opportunity to unleash us with saws and cut as much sage brush as our happy little arms could bare. Afterwards, of course, we burnt the product of our "training". The rest of the day was spent talking about our schedules when the helicopter comes on. We start staffing the air center 7 days a week on Sunday. Sunday is a crew training day as Crew A works Sunday through Wednesday and Crew B (including yours truly) works Thursday through Sunday. On top of that, I'm in class all of next week (which I'm getting paid for) and most of the week after next. If you include that with what ever other overtime I could possibly get, my paycheck for this pay period will be looking pretty good considering the amount of debt I'm in for the month of May. Man I can't wait to start running fires...

What To Do and the Summer to Come

With complete boredom as my inspiration, I created a rather lengthy to-do list while sitting in a all-hands meeting in the park. A lot of it revolves around budget(s) for the summer, car maintenance, climbing stuff, things I want to research or look up because of interest (not necessarily out of necessity...), and a few other things. Most of my to-do list revolves around my deployment down to Antarctica. I'm starting to feel like a seasoned traveler because of all of the things I learned from last year/earlier this year (some I learned the hard way). The one thing I learned is plan a hell of a lot earlier than I did last year. I didn't start packing or even thinking about packing until about a week before I left. Surprisingly, I didn't do too bad of a job. This year, however, I'm trying to do a few other things after I get off the ice. I'm still looking to go to Morocco after my deployment. So far the only trip the guide company I've been looking at is offering starts on the 28th in Marrakech...3 days after my scheduled redeployment date back into the real world. Granted, I was scheduled for a 28 Feb earlier this year and I ended up getting scheduled for a 19 Feb redeployment date with an actual date of the 21st, I'm still hoping for a little more time in between redeploying to Christchurch before heading off to Morocco. Anyways, I beginning to plan this all out now so I won't have any logistical surprises come September.

This week so far at work has been pretty good. I spent another day at the park yesterday doing some required first aid training and attending an all-hands meeting. Even though we [Zion Helitack] aren't stationed in the park, just coming down into park and looking around...especially from our training site(s), is pretty awe-inspiring.





I mean, I'm not just a tourist or a visitor paying to come to the park...I work there. I get paid to not only drive into the park for various tasks, I get paid to fly over it as well. The ship comes on next Monday. Unfortunately, I won't be working Monday and I'll be in a class from Tuesday till Friday. I did, however, almost make it on the Potosi Fire right outside of Las Vegas. I'm assuming they got the fire under control because I'm sitting here writing this post. Regardless, with all this excitement right now and the excitement to come this summer and fall, I'm pretty restless right now...

A Funk

Ever since this weekend, I've been in sorta a funk. I feel bad about it to because it all stemmed around the hike we did for the Devil's Den Fatality Staff Hike. I feel really bad about it because I feel it takes away from the hard, emotional time that my manager and two lead firefighters are going through with the entire ordeal. I know I didn't know Spencer Koyle, but it still hit home pretty hard for me. Anyways, that's had me down for a few days. Today, while talking to my good friend William "Brody" Brotman I come to define my feelings for Cedar City and its people. I love the city itself. It's a beautiful, quaint little town. The people sorta scare me. Haha, I know that sounds bad but here me out. It seem that life is centered around getting married straight out of high school and settling down without the intention of straying far from their hometowns. With Cedar City being the ultra-conservative town it is, I see very little originality in some of the people. Very little uniqueness. I don't know…it's hard to explain. Speaking of which, I find it hard to explain what I do for work to some people because it seems too impossible for them. It seems too far-fetched, unrealistic, if not irresponsible to not work the normal 9-5. I guess that's where the scariness came in for me. I guess that's also what has me In this funk right now. I hope that makes sense to you…

A Walk to Remember

Thursday, I made it down into the park as an employee for the first time. We spent the morning going over basic fire operations in the park, the first half of the afternoon attempting a prescirbed burn, then the final half of the afternoon conducting a PT hike on the Angels Landing Trail.



This weekend has been a pretty good one. It has also been emotional for me. Friday morning at work was spent PTing. While everyone else was doing their pack test, since I had already completed mine, I was given the option to run the 3 miles. Considering that I really didn't do much running before I started working, 3 miles was definitely a workout. Surprisingly, I'm doing too bad keeping up with the PT. I thought I was going to be miserably out of shape but asides from the altitude, nothing has really stopped me from keeping up with the group. If anything, I'm usually near the front of the pack for runs. After PT. We got ready for our weekend camping trip. Our trip was two fold. 1) Friday night's camp-out was a moment to bond with one another and go over what Saturday had in store for us. The entire reason we were in that area of Fishlake National Forest was to conduct a trial one of a staff hike of a fatality site that occurred on the Devil's Den Fire in 2006. This proved to be an excellent experience for all of us. Our manager and both of our lead firefighters knew Spencer Koyle personally which made the entire weekend really emotional and hard for them. We as firefighter hear about the type of fuel, weather, and topography that consistently kill firefighters all the time. Every year. Box canyons, chimneys, accumulations of dead and down, droughts, low RH's, Low FMC, high probabilities of ignition, etc. Not every firefighter gets to hear first hand experience from other firefighters that happened to be there when someone was killed. It was powerful to see the terrain that got Spencer in trouble. It was powerful to re-create the conditions, to see the exact spot where his body was found, to see the memorial created by people on the side of the mountain; it became very over-whelming to me to the point where I started to think about my own father's death and the death of those I knew and loved. I too broke into tears just standing on the ridge looking down into the drainage where Spencer was killed.

Overall, the past couple of days have been a blast. I'm starting to love working for Zion Helitack more and more just as I though I would. Bring on the fire season...

A sample of Utah's Alcohol laws.

For those of you that have been inquiring about Utah's liquor laws.

This is an excerpt from Lonely Planet's Zion & Bryce Canyon National Parks Guide:

It's a misconception that you can't get a drink in Utah. You can get just as drunk here as anywhere in the US.

Understanding Utah's arcane liquor laws - now that's hard. After a while, you feel like you're listening to John Travolta in Pulp Fiction explaining hash in Amsterdam.

Grocery stores can sell only beer, and only beer that's no more than 3.2% alcohol. If it's over 3.2% it's called 'stout' or 'hard' beer and can be sold only in a state-approved liquor store, which is the only place to buy packaged wine and spirits to carry out. Most towns only have one such liquor store, if any, and they're usually in nondescript, unadvertised locations. You must be 21 to buy alcohol, and it's never sold on Sundays.

Depending on their liquor license, restaurants can sell wine, beer and spirits with their food, but you must ask to see the drink list; they're not supposed to offer it. A place with a 'tavern' license can sell only 3.2% beer, but you must order food to go with it; you can't have just a drink.

A 'private club' serves a full range of liquor, and you don't need to order food to enjoy it. But you must be a member to enter. Temporary, two week memberships are usually $5 and allow five guests; if you ask at the door, someone inside will often sponsor you as their guest to avoid the cover charge.

At any establishment, you can have only one drink in front of you at a time. Sometimes called 'Utah's slammin rule,' this means you must finish a drink before ordering another; in the case of pitchers of, say, margaritas, there must be three people present to order one.

And so on. And no, we're not makin this up...


I can't possibly make that shit up either...

Christmas in May!

As with any new job (especially in the fire service), one of the most exciting parts about your first couple days of work is the issuance of new gear. In the fire world, that gear can turn out to be a lot. I know a bunch of you back home were wondering what kind of equipment I work with on the wildland side of things so I've combine showing you my new gear with showing you the gear I personally added to my pack(s) to better my life on the fire line. First, the gear that goes in my line pack:



It seems like a lot but I'm able to cram it all into my pack and at a decent weight. Asides from what they issued me, I added to my pack a Fireline Handbook, the Appendix B to the Fireline Handbook (for advanced weather calculations), two pens, a sharpie, a small spanner wrench, duct tape, eye wash/drops, a couple of granola bars, a can of Vienna Sausage, an MRE, and a couple packets of Claritin. One thing I found that I like about the wildland side of firefighting is that a lot of what we do and what's mandated of us, can be found in small pocket guides. On top of a lot of policies and guidelines we have to follow, we also do a lot of writing on fires, hence:



On top of all of the "hardware" I've received, I received a bunch of uniform items:



And finally, what Zion National Park employee would be without:



On top of all of those goodies, I also received a tent, sleeping bag, bivy sack, space blanket, sleeping pad, and a few other things to survive out in the wilds for 14 days. I also have an employee pass into the park (I think) and a free membership to a gym that's open 24 hours a day. Asides from the PT and the elevation, this week is going to be pretty exciting...

"1st" day tomorrow

The weekend is almost over. Asides from my friend rear-ending me the other night everything went pretty well. I went to a small party of our neighbor's co-workers. I had planned on just staying in and reading a book but they ended up dragging myself and my roommate (who also happens to work for Zion Helitack) out. Saturday was spent doing very little. My roommate Josh and I went out a few times but otherwise, the evening was spent inside reading on studying some material for work. Today was spent much the same way as Sautrday: reading and studying. Tomorrow is the first day of the season where the entire crew, seasonals and all, will begin working at the air center which means more faces, more equipment I have to deal with, more classes, and more reading material I have to take to heart. I actually can't wait. I'm not exactly thrilled to see how I'll fair with the PT to come but I really can't wait to start working tomorrow.

As I said in previous posts, our helicopter will be at the air center on the 26th. At that point, we start staffing it 7 days a week during the day (our SOPs state that we have to be on the ground within 30 minutes after the official sunset of the day). I take S-271/Helicopter Crewmember certification on the 27th through the 30th. This week will be spent getting oriented to Zion Helitack and Color Country firefighting. We have a prescribed burn to conduct on Tuesday and possibly Wednesday. We'll spend all day one day next week in the park getting oriented to certain features we need to take to memory. We have meetings to attend within the park and we have several classes and training we'll be partaking in before the fire season gets into full swing. All of that starts tomorrow I guess...

End of the Week

The end of the week is drawing near. I'm done with my training at the BLM Fire Center. For the rest of my season, I'll be reporting to the Air Center starting tomorrow. I'm helping our helicopter manager with a class tomorrow all day which I'm actually looking forward to. Monday the entire helitack crew starts which means more faces to get to know and remember. My roommates are gone for the weekend which means I have the house to myself. Hopefully there will be something decent on TV Friday and Saturday night. With Red Flag Warnings for the Arizona Strip and Zion NP and Fire Weather Watches for the Cedar City area, I'm going to stay relatively close to the city to try to catch a fire on the engines before I become 100% property of the air center. I'm starting to like it here more and more. The people here are either incredibly friendly or 100% assholes. The assholes I can ignore pretty easily. The friendly people really make a difference here.

I finally have a place I can call home for at least a few months. I passed my National Registry exam on Friday which means not only am I a National Registry EMT, I'm an EMT with a current, non-expired license. I hung out in Yosemite NP to climb for the rest of the afternoon, camped out with a few class mates, then started my drive to Cedar City Saturday Morning. I got into town late Saturday night and met my 4 roommates...all of whom moved out by Monday Morning. Somehow, my neighbors knew me before I knew them because of my roommates which only reiterates how small of a town Cedar City is. The same went for work considering my supervisor had been talking me up to the rest of the fire center. So I have several people who's names I don't know that know mine.

I started work yesterday which began with our pack test. Considering how I barely passed last years pack test, I did pretty well finishing in 42:10. I spend the rest of my afternoons till 5 or 6 hanging out at the Air Center with the rest of my crew doing projects and what not. The fire season is definitely looking good. I'm on call all of this week for our engine module and I start next week on our helitack module. Also, this week marks the rush for me to get ready for Antarctica. My Captain is pressuring me to get Physically Qualified to get deployed. I'm getting emails left and right with paperwork and and deployment info. All in all, this week has been pretty busy and it doesn't look like it's going to get any slower this summer...

Last Night of Class

Today was our last day of class. I passed all of my practical exams without any problems. We had our last get together as a class tonight which was sort of a bummer. Even though it has only been a month, I've grown pretty close to my classmates as well as our instructors. This class has made me think about a lot with my past, current, and future life. It's made me look at myself as a firefighter and EMT with a keener eye. It's made me questions some of the things I've seen and done as an EMS provider and it has allowed me to open my eyes at what a better EMS provider I can be and what the future holds for my career. I'm looking to get my Paramedic and I'm looking to work on an ambulance in Mexico for a few winters. One of our instructors has worked in Ecuador and another instructor owns a house in Mexico so I at least have two sources of information to help with my dreams.

I've made some good friends in this class. I have new climbing partners, ski touring partners, canyoneering partners, and new friends in general. I have new personal and professional references. I have places to stay across the western US as well as the intention to provide a couch or whatever I can where ever I am to these people I've spent the past 4 weeks with.

Tomorrow, I take the National Registry written exam for EMT-Basic. After I leave the testing sight in Oakhurst, CA, I'm heading into Yosemite NP to climb and camp for the night and on Saturday morning, I start my drive to Cedar City. I've found a place to live...sorta...that's going to run me about $175 a month. The only thing holding me up is getting a hold of the Realtor to finalize my lease and tell me where I'll be moving in to.

On a final note, one thing I really enjoyed about the class was when former students or friends and colleagues of the instructors sent them letters or emails about calls they ran or emergencies they dealt with. Asides from just being interesting stories, they proved really educational given at the opportune times. I think I'm going to start posting summaries of incidents, calls, and emergencies I deal with in this journal....minding HIPAA laws of course. Another thing I'm going to start doing is anytime I list the name of a city in an entry, I'm going to embed a link to google maps to give you all an idea of where I'm talking about. Haha, apparently more people read this journal than I think.

Testing, Utah, Friends

Our EMT class is definitely wrapping up. Today we took our two class finals: our Urban EMT final and our Wilderness EMT final. The rest of the day was spent doing practical skills sign-offs to get ready for our National Registry and California state practical exams tomorrow (they're actually the same test). It didn't hit me that we're done until we started clearing the room to get ready for testing which for most of us meant packing up the books and paperwork that hasn't moved since the beginning of this month. I'm scheduled to take my practical exams tomorrow morning at 0900. When I'm done, I'm planning on going into the park with my friend Haley to climb for the rest of the day. Friday I take my National Registry written exam and then head out to Cedar City for the rest of the summer. To be honest, I'm not too worried. This class really has prepared us for the testing we're about to go through tomorrow and Friday. I passed both written tests today and I have no doubt that I'll pass the tests to come.

It's weird to think that I start work next Monday. I have my pack test first thing Monday morning, then a lot of training for the rest of the week. On the 12th I start at the air center. I have a lot to catch up on, physical training wise after that 24 hour bug completely wipe my system out. I am ready to switch my mind from the Emergency Medical Services mindset to that of fire suppression though.

I'm really happy to see that a lot of my friends are doing more and more adventurous things with their life. My friend Charles is planning to canoe from Lake Superior to the Hudson bay via Lake Winnipeg. If I was fighting fires, I'd join him for the entire trip. My friend Heather is driving from Cancun to Believe to work with birds of prey for 6 weeks. It's a relief to hear these types of stories from my own friends. It's a drag to hear people think that what you think is normal or crazed necessity (i.e. working out west or working in Antarctica) crazy and impossible to do. Anyone can work in Antarctica. Anyone can travel across the country or the world. All you have to do is tell yourself that you're going to do it.

Last Week, Sick, and Antarctica

It's our last week of class. I did my clinicals this past weekend in the hospital and on an ambulance and the only thing eventful that happened was me coming down with some sort of food poisoning. Today I haven't gone to class just because I've been too sick to get out of bed. Around lunch I managed to muster up the strength to take a shower and anser 10 voice mails. One of them being my job offer for a Lieutenant's position next Austral Summer at McMurdo which I'm pretty excited about. This week, I have a lot of tests. I have two more class tests, our final Wilderness test, the California state test and practical, and the National Registry written and practical tests. Next Monday, I take my pack test and I start working for the fire season. Asides from being sick, this week isn't turning out too bad....

This Week

By this time in our class, we've learned most of what the course encompasses and our scenarios are getting crazier and more realistic every time. Today we did a scenario involving 8 passengers in a train which involved a smoke pot, a mock "train car", seats, and a lot of moulage and drama. Despite not wanting to be a patient, I had a lot of fun participating in that drill. I'm ready to move on with class. I'm ready to start the fire season and stay busy. I'm waiting to see if I can play my cards right enough to be put through Intermediate or Paramedic school.

I seem to be nursing a back injury from Lord knows what. The past couple days have been hard on me sitting down, bending over, and walking downhill. I've been doing a lot of hiking to get ready for the grueling PT's we'll be going through next month and I'm not sure if they're the cause of my back pain. At first I thought it was kidney stones until I realized the extent of the pain moving my back in weird directions. Thank God they were not kidney stones.

This week, I head into Fresno for my clinicals: 12 hours on a Paramedic ambulance and 8 hours in Regional Medical Center in Fresno which means a weekend full of trauma, blood, and gore. I can't wait...at the same time, I can't wait to get this week over with. Oh well, 7 classes to go. Not much else is going on...

The Weekend

A fun weekend with a filled schedule. I visited my friend and old boss from HTO, Tom Nadzam, this weekend in Marina, CA which is on the Monterrey Peninsula. I went to a party where he was DJing, crashed at his house over night, and hung out on the beach and around town before driving 3 hours back to Yosemite. I enjoyed visiting Tom and I definitely enjoyed spending the weekend in that area. I forgot how wonderful the smell of saltwater is. I got me thinking of other places to do or live in the winter. I don't know about Marina (it actually isn't a bad place though) but I'm definitely thinking along the lines of something on a coast. I don't know. I have time to think about that.

While driving back, I couldn't happen to notice that it's definitely getting drier and the fire season is right around the corner. I passed two fires, and saw hordes of CDF fire trucks all over the highways. Between that and the fact that I start working in 2 weeks has got me really excited for the fire season.

WEMT Class Life

The days are getting warmer. Yesterday was hot! I actually regretted wearing pants in place of shorts for once. I made it into Yosemite park for the first time this weekend. Man, what a beautiful place. Seeing in person El Capitan, Half Dome, Quarter Dome, The Nose, and a slew of other climbs that have plagued my dreams and aspirations was absolutely amazing. A bunch of us hiked up to Upper Yosemite falls which turned out to be a 6.8 mile hike both ways with an altitude gain of 3,000+ ft. I nearly destroyed my knees but I'm thankful that I went on the hike. Being around so many hikers and climbers is exhilarating. I have a new found enthusiasm for where I'm at, what I'm learning, and with whom I'm taking this class. Yesterday was spent recovering from my hike and swimming in the Merced River which runs along Hwy 140 where the Yosemite Bug Hostel is located. It's weird knowing that by the end of this week, the class will be half done. 4 more weeks till I start fighting fire...

WEMT Class

It's been 3 days since I've done anything electronic: talked on my cellphone, check my email, or surf the web. To be honest, it's been great being disconnected from the outside world. Our class is pretty intense. What would have taken 2 1/2 weeks to cover in my last EMT class, we've covered in less than 4 days. The one thing about this course, though, is that the people I'm in the class with are amazing. I'm having a blast learning new wilderness skills as well as refreshing my urban skills. To describe this place would be like saying that I'm at a month long EMT camp. My "room" is a canvas tent with a wooden floor and electricity. Mornings are cold waking up. We're right in the Merced River Valley outside of Yosemite National Park so we're right in the middle of no where in the forest. So far I love it and I'm sure it will get better....

A Week of Driving

I feel pretty shitty that I didn't write any posts throughout one of the most important weeks of this year. I've made it to Cali. I left DC at 0700 Tuesday morning and made it to Flagstaff, AZ by 2000 Wednesday...now that is a lot of driving. I made sure to drive from Flagstaff to Cedar City during the day as I did not want to miss seeing that country in the daylight. Driving through northern Arizona was amazing. Marble canyon (which turns into the Grand Canyon within 100 miles from where I was) was pretty cool to drive over. I started passing some amazing geology as I inched closer and closer to Utah and Zion. To my surprise I made it to Zion NP to find out that I would have to drive through the park to get to Springdale, I-15, and eventually Cedar City. This, of course, was not an issue. As I've yet to venture into Yosemite Park, Zion remains one of the most amazing places I have ever physically laid my eyes on. The color of the mountains, the size of the rock faces, everything. That was the best 45 minutes of the week, driving through the park. Surprisingly, it's not a long drive from the entrance of Zion to Cedar City. I finally made it into the place I had been talking about for months...Cedar City. I met my boss(es), explored the town, and explored the mountains nearby which are only a couple miles from the end of town. I left Cedar City for Mammoth Lakes to pick up a friend of mine from Antarctica Saturday morning and headed across nothingness, Nevada. The only thing remotely interesting about my drive across the Nevada desert was driving on The Extra Terrestrial Highway, a 90 mile stretch of highway that supposedly receives a lot of UFO sightings. Considering not shit can be found along that high way, the excitement of being on it died off after about 20 miles. I made it to Mammoth Lakes, California after 6 hours of driving. It turned out to be a pretty cool little mountain town that revolves around skiing/snowboarding, biking, and climbing. I was sad to see it go. I even thought about living there for a bit. After a week of traveling, I finally made it to Midpines, CA to start my WEMT class. It's already turning out to be better than expected with the amount of friends I've made by today, day 3. I was looking forward to this class being over and the fire season beginning but I'm looking forward to drawing this class out...

Last Night In Town

Well, another last night in town. My car is packed and ready to head out. I had planned to head out early (like 0500 early) but my friend is having a bad day so I'm going to take her out after she gets off work. To be honest, I'm really excited right now. It's a funny feeling knowing that I'm leaving home again for almost 6 months. For those of you that live here in the DC area and know me, I'll see you in the fall...

Climbing and Part 1 of Russian Aiders

Today was spent climbing...nothing more...nothing less. With a lot on my mind, I decided to take some time off to clear it. I climbed around Boucher Rocks only to find out about 4 hours into climbing that the area I was in had been closed off and that I was in fact trespassing. Since I didn't feel like driving anywhere else, I decided to practice my aid climbing and my newly purchased Russian Aiders. If you don't climb, the rest of this paragraph (and maybe this post) is going to be really boring and confusing. Now for those of you trad climbers out there that have ever thought about climbing aid or for you hard core aiders as well, Russian aiders are pieces of webbing with steel rings sewn into them every foot or so that allow you to hook into them with stirrups that go around your calves and the bottoms of your feet. Before I had used them, I had been reading about big wall and aid climbers that swore by them. The information I could write on them would take you hours to read. If you're truly interested in what other people think of them, go to www.rockclimbing.com or www.supertopo.com and search for Russian Aiders. The skinny of it all is when you're using normal aiders (Etriers) with your center of gravity being so high, you have nothing to hold you to the face of the wall your climbing but your arms which makes it awkward trying to hook into a piece of protection once you get closer to the top of your aiders...especially if you have to stand in the last couple steps. With Russian Aiders, because of the hook of the stirrups being right below your knee, your foot acts as a stop, keeping you from falling backwards while you're hooked into the rings at your knees. The results? Less fatigue in your arms, more stability, and ease of reaching the piece of protection you placed. What I found was great about them was the rings proved useful to clip other things (carabiners, other protection, etc) into them while you're working your way up the aiders. The point of all of this is, I am freaking sold on Russian Aiders and I'm glad I spent the $80+ now that I've tried them. Anyways, I'll make a better, more detailed post on their use and great benefits when I can get someone to take pictures of me using them.

Today was my first time climbing aid and I learned a lot of things the hard way. For one, you will be hating life if you don't wear kneepads while you climb aid. My knees are still shredded and bloody hours after climbing which is another great thing about Russian Aiders compared to Etriers because they keep your knees off the rock. Gloves (which I just found) are nice too because they keep your hands from developing blisters and getting scraped up. You constantly hear about climbers taking hours to complete one aid pitch and I can see why. Deceivingly, it takes a lot of time to place a piece of protection, test it to see if it will hold your weight, climb up your aiders, clip into that piece, place the next piece, clip your second set of aiders into that, test that piece of pro, transfer your weight over to those aiders, and repeat the process over and over till you get to the end of your pitch. Man I can't wait to get out west...

Leaving Friends Behind...

I've been spending my last couple of days tying up loose errands so that I can relax and look forward to the weekend. It's feels weird counting down the days again for I have 5 days before I head out to Cali. I'm starting to think about what I need to pack and I'm trying to get back into a regular sleeping cycle so my days driving are more productive. I didn't realize it until today but there are a few people I'm going to miss when I leave. The one thing I hate is the one thing I'm learning how to deal with the best: staying in touch with the friends that matter. I hate leaving my best friends behind. No matter where I go, the friends I meet I know I probably won't see again for a long time. Hopefully things will be a little different in Utah considering I want to make Zion a stable thing for a few years until I decided to move on to a hotsot crew or skip the shots all together (for the summer at least)and go straight to a smokejumping crew. I don't know. I'm rambling. Man it's really going to suck leaving certain people behind though...

Lil Bush and Democracy

As I sit here at 0340 trying to prepare myself for an 2300 to 0700 shift at Loudoun Fairfax Ambulance Services dispatching, I can't help but channel surf. Lo and behold I come across the TV show Lil' Bush on Comedy Central. Granted, this show is freaking hilarious but it also reminds me of one of the pretty deep conversations that made Antarctica enjoyable so much. Traveling around the country and the world has allowed me to speak with people from the left wing of the spectrum to the right wing. One thing this one particular conversation made me realize was how lucky as a country we are. When you look at other countries in the news you see a lot of violence because of that country's politics. We're one of the few countries that can settle its political differences without violence. We hold protests that normally do not result in arrests. We vote and debate about different parties without for even a second considering violence as a means of convincing the other sides. Hell, not many countries can allow TV shows and cartoons like Lil Bush on the air that blatantly make fun and shine negative light on their leaders. I dunno. To me that's Democracy. That's freedom. I wonder if the next president will have their own cartoon...

Happy Easter

Today is Easter. For practicing Christians world-wide, today is probably one of the most important days of the year including Good Friday and Christmas. Today, while thinking about the resurrection of Christ, all the good things I've done in life, volunteering and good deeds, seem trivial to what Christ has done for me. Today, all my problems have temporarily gone away. I feel happy and enlightened to do nothing but rejoice in my Lord and savior. Happy Easter everyone.

Ranting About Life

[Forgive me if you cant follow this rant] It's amazing how despite how old you are you are constantly finding more things out about yourself that otherwise have seemed mysterious. For those of you that have truly known me (i.e. most people outside of the firehouse) you know that I've been constantly struggling with my own self-identity and what I want out of life or where I want to be. I think the 'where' (for now) is irrelevant compared to the 'want' I'm experiencing. It took 22 years of living here in Virginia for me to figure out that I wanted to be away from everything and everyone I knew. When I set off down I-90 into the great unknown, I felt free and clear for the first time since a period of innocence we can only find in early childhood. I didn't know anyone. I didn't know what was going to happen. Hell, I barely knew where I was going. But I had clarity and I was ready for what ever was to happen. Living in Boise was weird...very very weird. Between the people in my life and living in DC in general, I developed a very (un)healthy distrust in people...especially those that managed to get close to me. I don't know why. For some reason I feel I can't even trust my own family. Without going into a long story, someone got too close to me while out west and it went against everything I had been feeling up until that point.

Months went by after Boise where I struggled to figure out what was wrong with me and why I was running away from the very thing most human beings seek throughout there life. I think when I started dating Betty, I felt safe because we never really got terribly close. She knows secrets about me that no one else knows. We were a pair. We were boyfriend and girlfriend. But she never pressured to get too close. I dunno. Despite how much I enjoyed it, our relationship is hard to explain. Coming back home from Antarctica is where I found out how much I'm constantly trying to get away from people I know either before they get too close to me or when I realize that they're too close to me. I've been feeling ashamed about the fact that I don't even want to be around my own mother who knows me more than anyone. When I come home from traveling and working, I look for friends old and new to hang out with. Some of them actually follow through with the plans they make and I love hanging out with them and being around them. Yet when its all said and done, I look forward to the car ride home when I can be alone. When I climb, when I'm hiking, when I'm traveling or reading about the travelers, explorers, and adventurers that drive me to keep moving, I feel real, I feel alone...just with my thoughts and emotions, I feel happy and free. When I gaze across a valley from a mountain peak or when I look across a meadow from a tree line, when I set foot on new land thousands of miles away from my home and my birthplace, I feel calm and content. No one I know or love around me, no one to distrust or dislike. Just me and the world before me.

Now, before you say to me, "Todd, what in the hell are you talking about?" I'll answer that question simply with "I have no fucking idea..." That's the fun thing about life...figuring rantings like the one above out....

Time Will Tell

I find myself with a week left to tie up loose ends before I leave DC once again for 6 months. I have still lots of paperwork for various things to complete. I have my taxes to do, issues with my car to take care of, things to buy, people to see, and family to visit. This weekend however will be spent relaxing. I've been a little pissed off and stressed out over the past 5 days for other various reasons so tomorrow and Sunday will be spent not doing a damn thing. I think the only things I have planned are a few hours in McLean park playing disc golf, and taking my friend out for the night for her birthday. Maybe some climbing will be thrown in there...who knows.

Hoping that I get hired again to go down to Antarctica next year (long story), I've started planning my month trip in central Asia (Southern Russia, Kazakhstan, and Kyrgyzstan). I'm also looking for other options as far as seasonal work for the winter. So far, the only two I've found are contract structural firefighting on the Marshall Islands or wildland firefighting for Augusta Hotshots out of Augusta Springs, VA. I dunno. Time will tell what will happen next winter.

Next on the list....

Once again, another chapter in my life is drawing to an end and a new one is about to begin. I have 11 days left in the DC area before I drive out west. I've been studying like mad so that I'll be ahead when I arrive to class. Since I'll only have the weekend to drive from Midpines, CA to Cedar City, UT and move into where ever I'll live before the following Monday when I have to report for work, I've opted to give myself the day I alloted for emergencies to find and/or move into a place in Cedar City. I broke my plan down like so:

April 1st: DC to Jackson, TN
April 2nd: Jackson, TN to Amarillo, TX
April 3rd: Amarillo, TX to Cedar City, UT
April 4th: Explore Cedar City for housing and whatnot
April 5th: Cedar City BLM new hire orientation, tie up loose ends, in Cedar City, and drive back to Flagstaff, AZ
April 6th: Flagstaff, AZ to Yosemite Bug Hostel where I will call classroom and home for the next month...check in after 4 PM

Now, I learned a lot from my trip out to Idaho as far as packing and driving so hopefully this trip will go a lot smoother. At this point, I'm just ready to get out of here and hit the road again...

By The Mark by Gillian Welch

By The Mark
by Gillian Welch


When I cross over
I will shout and sing
I will know my savior
By the mark where the nails have been

Chorus:
By the mark where the nails have been
By the sign upon his precious skin
I will know my savior when I come to him
By the mark where the nails have been

A man of riches
May claim a crown of jewels
But the king of heaven
Can be told from the prince of fools

Chorus

On Calvary Mountain
Where they made him suffer so
All my sin was paid for
A long, long time ago

Chorus

Sunday

Today is Sunday. Most Christian's are going to church today. Since I don't believe in churches, I choose to spend the Lord's day of rest reflecting outside the confines of a holy house. That doesn't mean the Lord's not on my mind. I listen to a lot of gospel in the form of bluegrass and folk music. Recently I've been listening to a lot of Gillian Welch music. For one, the woman is gorgeous...I mean, damn. Two, her music can be considered haunting or soothing...much like life. I dunno...something about her. Anyways, today will be spent listening to some music while I attempt to clean my room. I'll work out a bit, talk to my mom, and head to the firehouse. Everyone have a good day and God bless.

Sterling and Friends...

I can honestly say that Sterling Montague is one of my best friends. The man can speak a lot of sense in you. The one thing I can say I love about being back home is that I'm around my few close friends (like Sterling) that can put things into perspective. I spent a lot of time thinking to myself and keeping my thoughts private in Antarctica and Idaho. It feels good to express them to Sterling and Maketsi. In the past couple of days I've learned a lot about myself and how I've been handling such issues as religion, my dad, my daughter, etc. I've had a lot on my mind and it feels good to talk to people about it. Asides from the talk, it was really good to see Sterling. I don't know. I hope to see all of you. But there are a select few whom I have to see before I leave..

Flakes and 2 Weeks

My time at home is dwindling down now. Wednesday I'll have 2 weeks left here in town. I'm ready to worry about other things in life. Twice some peope I was suppose to hang out with flaked out on me leaving me to stay at the firehouse for the night. I dunno. Screw them, because in two weeks I won't be around them anymore...

- Posted using Pocket Watch Software Mobile GBlogger.

Old Friends and a New Adventure

Tonight's been a busy night at the firehouse....unfortunately with a lot of bullshit calls. Nothing to them...just running around greater Ashburn like idiots. Another night at station 6.

I spent the better part of early this morning talking to a friend whom I consider pretty close that I haven't talked to in years. We talked about religion, our dads, and other thoughts and feelings that have been lingering in our heads. It feels good to talk about things that I have been thinking about for years and haven't found the right person to share them with. I'm real picky about to whom I open up but I'm really glad I opened up to this person.

I've been feeling really enlightened the past couple of days. Between listening to a lot of gospel, talking to close friends, and just feeling good in general, life's been good this week. I have 17 days left in this area before I go gallivanting across the country again. I'm ready to start anew again. I can't wait for the west coast...

Paperwork...

I've never had so much paperwork to fill out before in my life. I have paperwork for my class to fill out, background investigation paperwork, physical/medical paperwork, drug testing paperwork, paternity paperwork, unemployment paperwork, financial paperwork, legal paperwork, etc. I've been so swamped the past few days it's mind boggling. I've decided to take a break tomorrow from anything that involves writing. I may go climbing or for a hike. I don't know yet. We'll see...

One Year Anniversary

As I nearly forgot, yesterday marks the one year anniversary of this journal. A lot of my friends have tried to keep one but I don't think any of them lasted a full year. Before switching to blogger on 10 March 2007, I was using live journal. My journal has seen me through figuring out what I want to do for the summer, landing a job with Red Truck Wildfire, applying for the firefighter's position in Antarctica, getting the job, my first big wildfire, Salt Lake City, my last couple wildfires, driving back home, getting ready to go to Antarctica, going to New Zealand and Antarctica, my uncle dying, life in Antarctica, getting promoted, coming home, getting hired by Zion, having a $3000 class paid for entirely (by someone not me), and a whole bunch of things I didn't mention here. That's cause for a celebratory gatorade. See yall and take care...

Canada anyone?

While I was at The Tavern last night drinking a corona by myself (no I'm not an alcoholic), a man that sat down next to me struck up a conversation with me. He asked me where I was from and if I'd been here long (he'd been coming to The Tavern since late October and just hadn't seen me up until now). I told him that I worked in Antarctica and that I'd be working out west as a firefighter. He told me he too worked as a firefighter. He had worked for LA County Fire Department on their aviation branch as well as for British Columbia (Canada) Forestry Division doing helirappelling. We began to talk and share stories for a couple hours. The weird thing about it all was I had just been talking about possibly working for LA County and smokejumping less than 24 hours before hand at the firehouse. Weird how life opens doors for you...

A Lot to Prove

The last couple of days, I just started to realize how much pressure is on me knowing that I'll be working with Zion Helitack. I mean, here's this manager who's sticking his neck out to hire someone onto a helicopter crew with only a season and a half of wildland experience. Granted, I can say with out tooting my own horn that I really want to work with this crew and I've proved that by bothering Mike (Reid the helicopter manager) non stop since November for information regarding the crew, the park, and the area. Anyways, my point is is that they're probably expecting a lot out of me when I start working...more so than anyone else there which means I have a lot to learn, a lot to do, and little room to fuck up...I guess that's what makes thinking about this summer so exciting

Bartender by Dave Matthews Band

Bartender
by Dave Matthews Band

If I go before I'm old
Oh brother of mine please don't forget me if I go
Bartender please, fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free, after three days in the ground

Oh and if I die before my time
Oh sweet sister of mine please don't regret me if I go
Bartender please, fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free after three days in the ground
Bartender please, fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free after three days in the ground

I'm on bended knee I pray Bartender please
Oh when I was young I didn't think about it,
But now I can't get it out of my mind
I'm on bended knee please father please

Oh if all this gold, should steal my soul away
Oh dear mother of mine, please redirect me if this gold
Bartender you see, this wine that's drinking me
Came from the vine that strung Judas from the devil's tree roots
Deep deep in the ground

Bartender you see, this wine that's drinking me
Came from the vine that strung Judas from the devil's tree roots
Deep deep in the ground
I'm on bended knee I pray Bartender please
I'm on bended knee please mama please
Oh when I was young I didn't think about it,
But now I just want to run and hide
I'm on bended knee Bartender please

It's been 4 days since I've been back and I'm still suffering from Jet Lag. It's beginning to screw up the way I work out (right now I'm not working out at all. It really feels good to be back. I knjow, I've said it to several people and I think I said it in my last post but its true. There are some faces of people I've thought about over the winter/summer that feel really good to see again. Today I go file for unemployment. I'm definitely going to need it after school in April. I'll need something to last me till my first paycheck in late May which isn't to far away...

Home

It feels good to be home. Seeing my mom and some of my friends for the first time in 6 months feels really good. It puts a smile on your face. It's warmer than I thought it would be. Honestly though, nothing has changed. I now spend the next 4 weeks getting ready to head away again for another 6 months. I hope to see as many people as possible. I'm looking forward to pushing myself to get into shape (as soon as my jet lag wears off) for the fire season. I'm looking forward to climbing and fishing. I'm looking forward to being home for a bit.

Zion Hire, Last Day, Time Paradoxes

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to say that I've been hired on with Zion Helitack through Cedar City BLM. It sounds weird when I say it but for some reason it's a dream come true. Just receiving that bit of news made everything else that has happened to me this week seem trivial and mediocre. Now I'm the type of person that likes to fill out paperwork for new jobs and learn when and where I have to report for work, what gear I get and when, etc. but I've yet to get all of that information. For now, I just know I've been hired on.

In a celebratory fashion after receiving the news that I got hired, I got incomprehensibly drunk last night in downtown Christchurch...one of the first times I've ever drank to celebrate. It was also a celebration of one of our last nights to go out and have a good time before myself and the last few firefighters split ways and headed home. Today is my last full day here in New Zealand. Tomorrow, I fly home. It's a funny thing international travel is, soley because of the change in time zone. Heaven forbid you cross the International Date Line. Example: tomorrow, I am flying from Christchurch to Auckland, Auckland to LA, and LA to DC. I leave Auckland for LA at 1940 hrs on 3 March. I arrive in LA at 1020 on 3 March in Pacific Coast Time. I leave LA for Washington at 1450 on 3 March and arrive at Dulles around 2230 Eastern Standard time. What does this mean? It means that by the time the "day" is over tomorrow, I'll have travelled from Christchurch to Washington D.C. within 7 1/2 hours on 3 March. Let's not forget the paradox of 25 hours of travelling between 1500 and 2230 hrs on 3 March. Tomorrow is going to suck ass...

A Small World and a Good Week

While having a beer at a bar here in Queenstown, my friend Heath introduced me to a few people that happened to live in DC as well. Thinking that it was a small world with the fact that they lived in the DC Metropolitan area, I was even more amazed that one of the girls we met had actually went to the same high school and middle school as I did and had some of the same teachers I did as well. Now that my friends makes this world a small one indeed.

I have money finally (accessible money). I was able to get a Western Union wire transfer from mother with the intention to wire the money she lent me back into her account upon receiving my new debit card. It's amazing how much fun I had this week despite how fucked up it's been on the side. Credit and debit cards getting cancelled with no way of uncanceling them, drastic travel plan cancellations and changes because of weather delays in Antarctica, USAA bank fucking up left and right, having to borrow money, having to call banks, mother, etc at 3 AM because of the time zone difference, you name it. As if it couldn't get any worse, none of my friends were expecting me to ride with them in the rental car with them back to Christchurch so because of an additional passenger I'm not able to ride with them. Today I waited too late to catch a bus back to Christchurch so I ended up buying a plane ticket to Christchurch from Queenstown Airport. I really can't think of anything else that can possibly go wrong now. But like I said, I had fun and I can't complain about that.

Vacation

It's been nearly a week since I left Antarctica. Slowly I'm learning how to reintroduce myself into society. Nighttime is like a new experience for me. No longer am I dealing with the same 1200 faces. I'm seeing thousands of new faces every day. In clubs and bars it's an interesting experience interacting (or at least trying) with people I don't know. With everything going on in my personal life (deaths, daughter on the way, bank issues), I've been doing as much as I can to take my mind off of the depression that's sorta set in. I can't thank my friends enough. They've done a lot to keep my mind off of things. Monday, we left the confines of Christchurch and headed south for Queenstown. I was really looking forward to this trip considering I'd get to see New Zealand outside of Auckland Airport and the City of Christchurch. One thing I noticed is that New Zealand is green. Very very very green. I don't know. It could be that I hadn't seen "green" in nearly 5 or 6 months but it definitely left me in awe. Our trip to Queenstown slowly took us west closer to the mountains. When we hit the mountains I instantly fell in love with the place. The southern Alps are truly remarkable. We didn't see much because of low lying storm clouds but we could only imagine what lie within the clods that covered the Alps like a hat. Our first stop along the way was Lake Tekapo where we decided to freeze our asses off and go swimming. We stopped later on a different towns to eat and get gas. The one thing I was sorta disappointed in was that asides from the metric system and different road signs, New Zealand towns look a lot like American towns except with more round-abouts. We got into Queenstown after dark. The town itself has a Colorado ski-resort feel to it. When we woke up, we were amazed by how such an awesome view could be masked by the dark. The lake, Lake Wakatipu, is the longest lake in New Zealand and boasts some of the most spectacular views in the country with 6,000 to 8,000 ft mountains beginning at it's shores. It's in Queenstown where bungy jump was created. The place we've been staying at is a 3 level, 5 bedroom, townhouse type deal where we've set up base. Most of the nights have been spent out at the bars. With such an extensive backpackers system, New Zealand (especially Queenstown) is full of people from all over the world. So far I've met people from at least 23 different countries....and a lot of gorgeous women. Queenstown has definitely been a blast.

I leave here to head back to Christchurch on Friday and then for the states on Monday. This has probably been the first vacation I've been on since early high school. Vacation being somewhere I go just to relax and not necessarily do anything. I also call it a vacation because for once, I needed to go some where and do something to take my mind of things. Next week I hop back into a somewhat normal existence: firehouse, climbing, hiking, maybe working here or there. I'm planning on going on unemployment when I get back into town. Depending on my money situation maybe even food stamps just to save up for the gas I'll need to drive out west. I'm praying the rest of this trip goes well. I'm praying my ATM card shows up tomorrow, and I'm praying that all goes well when I get back home. Stay safe.

New Zealand and Anxiety

Finally, I made it off the ice. We showed up in Christchurch right in the middle of dusk. It was amazing to experience twilight, humidity, color, and smells for the first time in over 5 months. After a couple of hours in customs and the Clothing Distribution Center, we went into the city to our respective places of lodging. I'm staying at a place called Base Backpackers which is sorta like a hostel geared toward backpackers. A lot of transients in and out from all over the world. I spent the night at a few bars with a bunch of other people from Antarctica and by time it was all said and done, it was 4 AM, I was drunk, and I was still out.

I spent the following day taking it easy. The depression of knowing a good friend died really set it then. I love working in Antarctica but dealing with being away from home at times like these really sucks. I've spent a lot of my time trying to find things to keep my mind off of Ricky's death but it pops its head up every once in a while. One of the things that sorta works is just spending time with other people. I'm glad that, for once, I'm not travelling a lone. Between Ricky's death which has made me think about my uncle dying while I wasn't here, flight delays and plans getting screwed up, and losing my wallet, I've really stressed the fuck out. Thank God for my friends though, they've kept me from going crazy. I've calmed down a lot since yesterday and this morning. Tomorrow, I may go to the beach for the first time in years and after that who know's what. I was hoping to have been back in the states by now but I couldn't find a flight that would get back in time for Ricky's funeral. Oh well. I'll see you all next week.

Last Day (Day 2) and another Death

Today is my 3rd last day down here on the ice. I was suppose to leave Tuesday. It is now 0845 Thursday morning and I'm praying to God that my flight won't experience another weather delay. The Air National Guard hasn't become desperate enough where they'll delay a plane a few hours versus a whole 24 so every time we get delayed, we get delayed a full day. I've been nothing but restless. My gear is already turned in back at the firehouse. My baggage is probably sitting on a pallet at the cargo center. I have one change of smelly clothes, my backpack, and my ECW gear. I've been offered another job offer with the North Rim of the Grand Canyon National Park but no word from Zion. Considering if what their manager said was true, I should be hearing sometime soon....supposedly today.

This morning, I received an email that broke the news to me that a friend, maybe not a close friend but definitely someone that has changed my life, was killed today in a work accident. The thing that's been pissing me off is that I can't feel any emotion in this place. I can't be at the firehouse to help place the black bunting on the building to signify the lost of one more brother. I can't be their to help lower the flag. I can't be there at his funeral. I feel no pain. No sadness. Just a blank canvas with neither emotion nor sorrow painted on it. I really need to get out of this place. A journey that's 3 days overdue...

Rest In Peace, Richard "Ricky" Muth. I love you brother and I'll miss you.

Goodbyes and Contemplations

It's all too real now. I said good-bye to my other two roommates yesterday. Good-byes are being said left and right. The mercury hasn't topped 10 degrees this week. As of writing this, I have 4 days left down here. I've been going through a bought of depression the past couple of days just thinking about my dad and a few other things. I've been thinking about cutting my trip shorter than it already is just to get home and spend it with my mother and family before I head out west. I don't know. Maybe it's the depression talking. All I know is that I'm ready to get out of here. I've been pretty restless the past couple of days and borderline emotional. I feel bad for Betty or any of my other friends. They don't deserve to be brought down by my emotions. Anyways, I'm still waiting to sign my contract for next season. I've been told our contracts are waiting on HR to approve our applications which is also depending on our employee evaluations. Since we're just getting our evaluations now, it will probably be a week or so before I get my contract. Thank God the end of the week is over. Sometime between the 18th and the 22nd, I hear about working with Zion. It's ironic that a place with the name of Zion is calling me "home". I don't know why. But something is telling me that my life will take a turn for the better going there. I don't know. Just a feeling right now.

Small World, Leaving, Emperor Penguin

Tomorrow I have one week left on the ice. My roommate Kenny left today and my kiwi roommates Cody and Dave are leaving this coming weekend. I'm really stoked to hear whether or not I'll be getting hired by Zion. Whether I do or not is God's will. At this point the suspense of waiting is killing me. As fate would have it, a crew member from the Arctic Tern, the container vessel that has sailed from California to here to offload and pick up cargo containers, stopped by the firehouse here to take a tour of the place. Low and behold, Paul is a member of Cabin John Park Volunteer Fire Department and was a member when I was living there. It's definitely a small world considering we both recognized each other. Anyways, one thing I really need to do is I need to start packing and start cleaning my room...the place is a disaster. On a more positive note, I saw my first Emperor Penguin up close today at Pegasus Airfield.

Last Days in Antarctica and Spring/Summer

I have 10 days left in Antarctica. This place has been a mad house the past few days. The ice breaker plowed the way for the fuel tanker to come in and off load up to 10 million gallons of gasoline, diesel, and JP8 fuel. The tanker left and shortly thereafter the cargo vessel showed up with a couple hundred containers to off load. Because the container off load is such a logistical ordeal, the US Navy and New Zealand Army has sent down battalions of people to have. With the coming of the NavCHAPS (Navy Cargo Handling something or other) comes fears that have been confirmed time and time again over the past years. The NavCHAPS are notorious for causing drunken brawls and desperate acts of thievery including dropping in from the ceilings. With that being said, our little town is in a furry to lock doors that have been unlocked since the beginning of the season, change schedules for anything that had a schedule, and meetings, meetings, meetings to prepare the town for an onslaught from about 400 military people. Apparently, it's been so bad in the past that the bars and the store stop selling alcohol until the ship offload is done and the navy and kiwi army heads home. With 24 hour cargo offload/onload operations going, we're in day 4 and all of the containers are already off. Hopefully in a couple of days, ship on load will be done and life can go back to normal at least for a few days before we all head home.

We're all counting down the days till we leave. A lot of people are leaving right now. The fire department is leaving on the 19th, 21st, and 23rd with yours truly leaving on the 19th. The weather is turning to shit fast. Today it's 7 degrees with a wind chill in the -20s. Williams Skiway is closing on the 17th which has truly hit home to a lot of us that the season is over.

Home is looking pretty good right now. I have to sign up for COBRA benefits and unemployment once I leave here. I'll be traveling for a little lest than 2 weeks. I've received 2 scholarships for my class through the Wilderness Medical Institute....one of them being a full scholarship. Hopefully, I can use the other one to help with paying gas needed to drive across the country. Two other people here on base are planning on taking this course as well....thankfully both of them I know pretty well. One is a good friend here in the fire department, another is a mutual friend of another firefighter that lives near me. It will be cool to have a person or two I know in the class. As of right now, I one confirmed job, one "tentative" job, and one turn down. I've filled out my tax and direct deposit forms for Las Vegas BLM Helitack. I've been offered a job with the Grand Canyon National Park on the South Rim, and I've been turned down by Denali National Park. I find out about Zion National Park sometime the week I leave. All in all, things are falling into place for the summer...

Bday and summer...

My birthday wasn't too bad. Normally I don't give a shit about it but enough people did to the point that it would be rude if I just blew them off. One of my Captains is going to try to get me my offer letter and contract for next year's season which would be nice so I can confirm a job for next season. A friend of mine down here put in a good word for me for the fire crew she works on. Today I got an email stating that I have been hired onto Las Vegas Bureau of Land Management's Helitack crew. Granted it's not my first pick but a) it's a job, b) it's a job on a helicopter, and c) it's still a pretty cool crew to work on...that and I'll be working with a friend. Things are starting to pan out for the summer...

Psalm 55:22

Cast thy Burdens upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

One starry night at a Young Life camp when I was 16, I accepted Christ in my heart as my lord and savior who died on the cross for my sins. There wasn't anything special about how I did it. Just me laying on a grassy hill staring into the night sky asking Christ into my heart. Throughout the rest of high school and shortly after, I haven't strayed much from my faith. I'm not perfect by any means. No one is. Perfection in humanity walks hand in hand with hypocracy. No, I am definitely not without sin. Over the past couple years I've found myself falling back onto my faith as I watched my father get sicker and eventually die. On the other hand, my life time line is littered with random introductions and run-ins with people that have managed to change my life in some way shape or form. The latest being a woman inspired by me that has pointed me to an organization that just might pay the balance of my tuition for this spring and a friend of mine I haven't seen since the 4th grade. It amazes me how mysterious the Lord works even after proclaiming "He works in mysterious ways". Some how, a lot of things for me have just fallen into place. I've constantly said to myself, "How am I going to make this work" yet somehow they do. My mother sent me an email with a story about a man who's car broke down right near a gas station and he crossed paths with a woman who was just having a shitty time with life at that moment. With no money to get to where she was going, the man paid for her gas and food for her and her family. When he went to get back into his car, his car started right up. God intends for us to be in certain places at certain times, whether we plan it or not. It's all part of his plan. At the end of the email my mother sent me, a bible verse, Psalm 55:22 to be exact, was given:

"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain thee. He will never suffer the righteous to be moved..."


Everyone take care and be safe.

My Father and My Education

Yesterday (Clarification: for those of you back home reading this just now, that would be today for you....aka the 23rd) my dad would have turned 69. The past 48 hours that's been a weird concept for me. It's still pretty hard to fathom that he's gone. Someone had told shortly after he died that life usually settles down for you (you being someone who has lost a parent or loved one) after you get through all of the "firsts"...i.e the first Father's day without him, the first Thanksgiving without him, christmas, anniversary, birthday(s), etc. 20 April of 2007 was the 1 year annivesary of his death and my feelings still haven't changed. I still miss him more than anything and I really wish he were here so I can share with him what I've seen and done.

With the EMT class I'm driving across country for in April, I will have earned 30 credits towards my Fire Science Degree. Between this and classes to be taken in the fall, I'll have hopefully earned enough to transfer to University of Alaska at Fairbanks to finish up my degree. I've been looking at UA for the past 2 years because of their Hazardous Materials Program and the campus fire department at which you can be employed while you attend school. The only problem with that is my VA benifits are to soon expire in October of 2010. I don't know. That's a few years from now. Right now, I need to worry about tuition for this year...

Rt 66 and the Yosemite Drive

As I sit here in the computer lab trying to plan ahead for April and May, I couldn't help but notice that the drive from Great Falls to Yosemite will take me along I-40...more significantly from Oklahoma City to Barstow California. Why is this important? Former U.S. Route 66 which ran from Chicago to Santa Monica parallels 40 from OK City to Barstow. For the few of you that actually read this thing I write in, you probably really don't see what the big idea is behind my excitement. Ever since I was a little kid and able to pick up a National Geographic or Smithsonian Magazine (yeah, I'm a dork), I had always dreamed about driving Rt 66. Rt 66 is everywhere. In TV shows, commercials, etc. You'll probably hear about Rt 66 in any nostalgic reference of Americana. I'm really getting more excited as I think about this. Since my class doesn't start till April 7th, I can figure leaving Great Falls on 1 April, drive my ass off till I get to OK City, and take it a little slow driving from OK City to Yosemite/Midpines. If I get the job in Cedar City (which is what I'm really praying for), I'll take another scenic trip to Utah by driving from Yosemite through Death Valley to Red Rocks Canyon National Preserve. I spend a day or two climbing around Red Rocks and maybe traipse into Vegas (shudder) a few miles away, then continue on my way to Cedar City. That trip can be more relaxed considering its only a 500-600 mile trip and I have 13 days to complete it. Now all I have to do is get through the 4 weeks I have left down here, 2 weeks in New Zealand, and 3 1/2 weeks back home...

Nothing new...

The town is slowly starting to recover from the flu pandemic that plagued a couple hundred people for about a week or so. A couple more Medevacs when out this week and a few more medical calls have been run. Our chief has left to head back to the states to take care of some things in Denver (Raytheon headquarters) and we're losing another firefighter on Friday since he got picked up by Denver Fire Department. Things are definitely winding down. I'm still waiting on word for different fire departments for the summer and I'm still trying to figure out the logistics for driving out to Yosemite. Other than that, nothing new on this end...

Shock to the Senses

Today I found out that my deposit for Wilderness EMT was accepted by NOLS which means I'm somewhat officially enrolled in the class. So now all I can do is pray that I'll have enough money to drive across country, feed myself for 2 months, and keep myself from going insane. Today I also handed in my redeployment paperwork which sorta confirms the days I leave the continent and leave New Zealand for home. There are a lot of things I miss that I can't wait to experience. I miss the night. I miss the dark. I haven't seen stars, twilight, dusk, dawn, or anything since October 5th. I miss the smells of the outdoors. The only smells I ever smell down here is diesel or food being cooked. I miss the smell of grass, the smell of rain, the smell of garbage even. I miss green. I miss warmth. Going back to New Zealand after being down here for 5 months will definitely be a shock to the senses.

Ups and Downs

I love a busy day. I down right hate busy work, but I love genuinely busy days. Between inspections, calls, and training, the majority of the day went without hiccups. The evening started to wind down after we were done with our medical run around 2000. Asides from a few incidents were I truly got pissed at a few people, today's shift went really well and I'm very glad for it. As I sat down in front of my computer tonight, I made some decisions regarding the next couple of months. 1) We received an email today from Captain Paul asking us to request a redeployment date between the 19th, 21st, and 23rd of February. Wanting to take full advantage of the situation, I chose the 19th so that I'd have as much time as possible to hang out in New Zealand. 2) I chose to leave New Zealand on the 7th of March which will give me about 3 1/2 weeks in DC before I head out west. 3) Today I got paid. With that being said, in the morning (now being 0120) I'm going to fax my application into the Wilderness Medical Institute with my credit card info for the $1000 deposit required for Wilderness EMT making it semi-official that I'm committing to taking this course in April. As weird as it sounds, I feel naked without an EMT certification.

Today had its ups, but it also had its downs. Normally, I don't get offended. I mean, it takes a lot of effort to offend me. Somehow, I managed to get pretty offended to the point I had to do a lot of venting to Captain Bragg (more just someone to vent to not necessarily looking for intervention). I'm not going to go into details but I'll list the things that have been lingering in my mind that do offend me:

I get offended when people question the way I do things or the job I do just because it's not what they would do. Going on 6 years of experience, I think I know how to do my job without strife or condescending attitudes

I get offended when people insult my way of life to my face

I get really offended when people shit on the career I've dedicated 6 years of my life and time to. This one especially bothers me since several people on base have done this. I don't know why this bothers me so. I guess the fire service is the one thing I take true pride in and it pisses me the hell off when people who do not understand the work I as well as other firefighters and EMT's do bash our jobs and the way we do things. Today/night I was pissed to the point where I almost got up and walked away from a few good friends in order to keep from getting really pissed and blowing up in the galley. I'm going to leave it at that because I'm still pretty fucking steaming from having to hear shit about the job I love with every inch of my being from a few dozen people over the past week.


Asides from what I just ranted about, life is crazy in town. 10% of the town's population of 1200 people have either the flue or a bad case of the cold (we call it the "crud" down here). Considering I was pretty sick most of the latter half of October and the Beginning of December, I'm hoping that I don't get sick again. Down here, when you test positive for the flue you are quarantined in your room for 2-3 days. So far my roommate has been quarantined, a girl I'm dating down here, 2 of her suite mates have been quarantined, and a whole array of people we associate with on a daily basis have been either quarantined or live with a quarantined roommate or roommates. Hopefully this pandemic will die soon....