Psalm 55:22

Cast thy Burdens upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

One starry night at a Young Life camp when I was 16, I accepted Christ in my heart as my lord and savior who died on the cross for my sins. There wasn't anything special about how I did it. Just me laying on a grassy hill staring into the night sky asking Christ into my heart. Throughout the rest of high school and shortly after, I haven't strayed much from my faith. I'm not perfect by any means. No one is. Perfection in humanity walks hand in hand with hypocracy. No, I am definitely not without sin. Over the past couple years I've found myself falling back onto my faith as I watched my father get sicker and eventually die. On the other hand, my life time line is littered with random introductions and run-ins with people that have managed to change my life in some way shape or form. The latest being a woman inspired by me that has pointed me to an organization that just might pay the balance of my tuition for this spring and a friend of mine I haven't seen since the 4th grade. It amazes me how mysterious the Lord works even after proclaiming "He works in mysterious ways". Some how, a lot of things for me have just fallen into place. I've constantly said to myself, "How am I going to make this work" yet somehow they do. My mother sent me an email with a story about a man who's car broke down right near a gas station and he crossed paths with a woman who was just having a shitty time with life at that moment. With no money to get to where she was going, the man paid for her gas and food for her and her family. When he went to get back into his car, his car started right up. God intends for us to be in certain places at certain times, whether we plan it or not. It's all part of his plan. At the end of the email my mother sent me, a bible verse, Psalm 55:22 to be exact, was given:

"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain thee. He will never suffer the righteous to be moved..."


Everyone take care and be safe.

My Father and My Education

Yesterday (Clarification: for those of you back home reading this just now, that would be today for you....aka the 23rd) my dad would have turned 69. The past 48 hours that's been a weird concept for me. It's still pretty hard to fathom that he's gone. Someone had told shortly after he died that life usually settles down for you (you being someone who has lost a parent or loved one) after you get through all of the "firsts"...i.e the first Father's day without him, the first Thanksgiving without him, christmas, anniversary, birthday(s), etc. 20 April of 2007 was the 1 year annivesary of his death and my feelings still haven't changed. I still miss him more than anything and I really wish he were here so I can share with him what I've seen and done.

With the EMT class I'm driving across country for in April, I will have earned 30 credits towards my Fire Science Degree. Between this and classes to be taken in the fall, I'll have hopefully earned enough to transfer to University of Alaska at Fairbanks to finish up my degree. I've been looking at UA for the past 2 years because of their Hazardous Materials Program and the campus fire department at which you can be employed while you attend school. The only problem with that is my VA benifits are to soon expire in October of 2010. I don't know. That's a few years from now. Right now, I need to worry about tuition for this year...

Rt 66 and the Yosemite Drive

As I sit here in the computer lab trying to plan ahead for April and May, I couldn't help but notice that the drive from Great Falls to Yosemite will take me along I-40...more significantly from Oklahoma City to Barstow California. Why is this important? Former U.S. Route 66 which ran from Chicago to Santa Monica parallels 40 from OK City to Barstow. For the few of you that actually read this thing I write in, you probably really don't see what the big idea is behind my excitement. Ever since I was a little kid and able to pick up a National Geographic or Smithsonian Magazine (yeah, I'm a dork), I had always dreamed about driving Rt 66. Rt 66 is everywhere. In TV shows, commercials, etc. You'll probably hear about Rt 66 in any nostalgic reference of Americana. I'm really getting more excited as I think about this. Since my class doesn't start till April 7th, I can figure leaving Great Falls on 1 April, drive my ass off till I get to OK City, and take it a little slow driving from OK City to Yosemite/Midpines. If I get the job in Cedar City (which is what I'm really praying for), I'll take another scenic trip to Utah by driving from Yosemite through Death Valley to Red Rocks Canyon National Preserve. I spend a day or two climbing around Red Rocks and maybe traipse into Vegas (shudder) a few miles away, then continue on my way to Cedar City. That trip can be more relaxed considering its only a 500-600 mile trip and I have 13 days to complete it. Now all I have to do is get through the 4 weeks I have left down here, 2 weeks in New Zealand, and 3 1/2 weeks back home...

Nothing new...

The town is slowly starting to recover from the flu pandemic that plagued a couple hundred people for about a week or so. A couple more Medevacs when out this week and a few more medical calls have been run. Our chief has left to head back to the states to take care of some things in Denver (Raytheon headquarters) and we're losing another firefighter on Friday since he got picked up by Denver Fire Department. Things are definitely winding down. I'm still waiting on word for different fire departments for the summer and I'm still trying to figure out the logistics for driving out to Yosemite. Other than that, nothing new on this end...

Shock to the Senses

Today I found out that my deposit for Wilderness EMT was accepted by NOLS which means I'm somewhat officially enrolled in the class. So now all I can do is pray that I'll have enough money to drive across country, feed myself for 2 months, and keep myself from going insane. Today I also handed in my redeployment paperwork which sorta confirms the days I leave the continent and leave New Zealand for home. There are a lot of things I miss that I can't wait to experience. I miss the night. I miss the dark. I haven't seen stars, twilight, dusk, dawn, or anything since October 5th. I miss the smells of the outdoors. The only smells I ever smell down here is diesel or food being cooked. I miss the smell of grass, the smell of rain, the smell of garbage even. I miss green. I miss warmth. Going back to New Zealand after being down here for 5 months will definitely be a shock to the senses.

Ups and Downs

I love a busy day. I down right hate busy work, but I love genuinely busy days. Between inspections, calls, and training, the majority of the day went without hiccups. The evening started to wind down after we were done with our medical run around 2000. Asides from a few incidents were I truly got pissed at a few people, today's shift went really well and I'm very glad for it. As I sat down in front of my computer tonight, I made some decisions regarding the next couple of months. 1) We received an email today from Captain Paul asking us to request a redeployment date between the 19th, 21st, and 23rd of February. Wanting to take full advantage of the situation, I chose the 19th so that I'd have as much time as possible to hang out in New Zealand. 2) I chose to leave New Zealand on the 7th of March which will give me about 3 1/2 weeks in DC before I head out west. 3) Today I got paid. With that being said, in the morning (now being 0120) I'm going to fax my application into the Wilderness Medical Institute with my credit card info for the $1000 deposit required for Wilderness EMT making it semi-official that I'm committing to taking this course in April. As weird as it sounds, I feel naked without an EMT certification.

Today had its ups, but it also had its downs. Normally, I don't get offended. I mean, it takes a lot of effort to offend me. Somehow, I managed to get pretty offended to the point I had to do a lot of venting to Captain Bragg (more just someone to vent to not necessarily looking for intervention). I'm not going to go into details but I'll list the things that have been lingering in my mind that do offend me:

I get offended when people question the way I do things or the job I do just because it's not what they would do. Going on 6 years of experience, I think I know how to do my job without strife or condescending attitudes

I get offended when people insult my way of life to my face

I get really offended when people shit on the career I've dedicated 6 years of my life and time to. This one especially bothers me since several people on base have done this. I don't know why this bothers me so. I guess the fire service is the one thing I take true pride in and it pisses me the hell off when people who do not understand the work I as well as other firefighters and EMT's do bash our jobs and the way we do things. Today/night I was pissed to the point where I almost got up and walked away from a few good friends in order to keep from getting really pissed and blowing up in the galley. I'm going to leave it at that because I'm still pretty fucking steaming from having to hear shit about the job I love with every inch of my being from a few dozen people over the past week.


Asides from what I just ranted about, life is crazy in town. 10% of the town's population of 1200 people have either the flue or a bad case of the cold (we call it the "crud" down here). Considering I was pretty sick most of the latter half of October and the Beginning of December, I'm hoping that I don't get sick again. Down here, when you test positive for the flue you are quarantined in your room for 2-3 days. So far my roommate has been quarantined, a girl I'm dating down here, 2 of her suite mates have been quarantined, and a whole array of people we associate with on a daily basis have been either quarantined or live with a quarantined roommate or roommates. Hopefully this pandemic will die soon....

Changes

Tonight, for the first time this season, I noticed that the sun sorta "set" tonight. It never went below the horizon however. No. It actually stayed well above the horizon...a good 20 or 30 degrees above the horizon. What I mean by set is that the sun sank low enough to cast different hues of light across the canvas of the norther sky. The Royal Society Mountains, Observation Hill, and Mt. Erebus all have an alpine-glow like yellow tint to them. As I stood outside marveling at this sight, I couldn't help but wonder how much my life has changed over the year much like the seasons down here do. I went from working in Fauquier County, to wondering what I was going to do next, to moving out to Idaho, to working in the bottom of the world. I love this life. Sure, parts of it suck, but I making the best of it with simple pursuits of my dreams. I tell this to people I meet since I left DC. If you have an idea or a dream try it out. You never know how your plans will pan out.

For those of us already down here, Raytheon opened up internal job announcements for the 2008-2009 summer positions for here and the South Pole which means we'll get first picks of jobs for next year that won't open up externally till April or May. Needless to say, the second I got word of this, I applied for one of the Lieutenant's positions. God has a funny way of making things fall into place. If all goes right (and that is a pretty big "if") the next year should look like this:

- Leave here and vacation for 2 weeks
- Go on unemployment and work on an on-call basis for Virginia Deparment of Forestry till April
- Travel to Yosemite for Wilderness EMT
- Travel to wherever in May to start working the wildland fire season
- Go off employment and rack in the overtime when the fire season gets in full swing
- Come back home for a week or two before heading back to Antarctica
- Start cycle all over again

Life is what you make it. You can say your life sucks and wallow in self-pity thiking that you can't do anything about it, or you can get off your ass and try to change the way things are going. If you try hard enough, if you set your mind to it, life will find a way. Your dreams will find a way. If my plans don't work out, there will always be something else to guide me along to keep my head up...

A Beautiful Day Out at Station 2

Well I'm back out at Willy Field which means time and sometimes privacy for deep contemplation. Today it is absolutely gorgeoos outside. It's warm, sunny, and just plain beautiful out. A great day for training outside. I've checked on our intranet to find that I have packages waiting for me back intown. Who cares? It's too nice out here today...

Life in Town and the Next Couple of Months

I find myself working more and more in a supervisory as the season's end draws near. With the hustle and bustle of the town because of the arrival of the ice breaker and cargo ships to come, injuries and medical emergencies are starting to rise. Between that, training, and deadlines to be met, my life at the fire department has been a hectic one. On top of all that, I have employee evaluations to work on. Sometime this week I find out what my tentative departure date is next month. I'm actually pretty excited for that and really excited to get home. Anyways, with the arrival of the ice breaker comes an abundance of wildlife the likes of which usually isn't seen until this time of the season. With the broken ice comes seals that pepper the landscape as far as you can see, adelie and emperor penguins running to and fro, as well as orca and beluga whales which I've yet to see.

I've been working on my NOLS application and scholarship for the past couple of days and I came to find out that my Veterans Affairs educational assistance does not apply for certain NOLS classes with the Wilderness EMT class I'm looking to take being one of them. What does this mean? It means, if I don't get this scholarship, I'll have to fork over $2950. If I do get the full scholarship (full meaning the full amount I had asked for) then I'll only have to fork over $1000. Still that's a lot of money. The closer I get to march, the more detailed and concrete my plans are turning out to be. I'm continuously becoming amazed at the benefits this job offers whether they're on purpose or not. One of the great things about this job is that since most of us down here are working a seasonal contract and this branch of Raytheon is based out of Virginia, everyone that will be filing for unemployment has to file through Virginia. Me being from Virginia means that Raytheon will take care of most of the paperwork for me so that I'll be receiving unemployment checks the second I get home until I start working May 15th. If I can find a decent job I'd enjoy that pays more than whatever it is I'll be getting from unemployment, I'll gladly take it. If not, I'm going to spend a lot of time in the Monongahela National Forest or the Fire Department. I'm also hoping for a busy fire season in Virginia. Maybe I can get deployed on a few fires within the state to get some extra money. So far, everything is looking good for the next couple of months. God willing, it will stay that way when those times come...

The Future

Station 2 out here on Williams Skiiway is a great place to be when you have a lot on your mind. The past 24 hours, for me at least, was spent contemplating on the future and thinking about problems in the present. Today I'm attending a meeting on redeploying back into the civilized world sometime in the afternoon. To be honest, I'm pretty excited about the idea of heading home. Don't get me wrong, I love this place to death which is why I looking forward to signing my contract for the next Austral Summer, but, like any true rambler, its time to move on to the next thing. New Zealand is starting to sound really nice right now, and home to see my family is starting to sound even better.

Wanderlust and Post Antarctic Plans

It's funny how it has taken me this long to realize how dangerous wanderlust can be. After all, I left the safety and comfort of civilized life in Washington D.C. to work in the wilds of the American West fighting wildfires or on the southern most continent that is Antarctica to ensure safety of those exploring science down here. I find myself constantly thinking of new ways to go farther, to do things and go places that no one I know has heard of. On the other hand, the life of a rambler is sometimes met with black clouds. I feel my "sins" of leaving my family and friends coming to haunt me. I wonder how I'm going to make it wherever it is life and God takes me. Then I think, that's the best part of my life right now. Dreaming about where I'm going and just doing it is probably the most rewarding feeling I've ever felt. It doesn't matter how I'm going to do it, or who I'm going to meet knowing I'm not going to know anywhere where I'm going, no. That's what makes it an adventure.

A few things have come up while trying to plan for the next few months. Because I wasn't able to get my Idaho EMT (Idaho EMT = National Registry EMT = Easier dealing with my expired VA EMT) and my Virginia EMT expired before I left for the ice, I've opted to take Wilderness EMT through the National Outdoor Leadership School's Wilderness Medical Institute before the beginning of the fire season which I think is a really cool idea. I've been meaning to take this class for years and what better way to do it than to drive to Yosemite Valley in California, live out of my truck, and climbing and fly-fish when I'm not in class or studying. After the class is done, I'll drive to Cedar City and spend the rest of the 10-12 days before the beginning of the season climbing around Zion. The only down fall of this all is I have to cut my trip short to the South Island of New Zealand by two weeks. To be honest, with everything that has happened in the past few months back home, I really can't wait to see my family. We'll see what happens...

Redeployment

Redeployment into the civilized world is near. Tomorrow at 1330 I attend a one hour meeting on redeploying. The edge of the ice is getting closer and closer and the Swedish Icebreaker coming down should be here if not tomorrow, the next day. With it will come emperor penguins, more waddell seals, more adelie penguins, and beluga and orca whales. Life is still pretty good down here. With the end of the season approaching, I'm actually finding myself acting in a managerial role for the first time since I've been a lieutenant with performance evaluations and other issues around the station. I've been spending a lot of time studying Spanish (!hola!) and Arabic (السلام عليكم). With the end of the season approaching, I actually can't wait to get back to New Zealand and then to home! I honestly love it down here but I need to change it up for a few months. After all, that's the point of working seasonal jobs. Sometime this month I should be hearing on the wildland jobs I've applied to. I still have my heart set on Zion National Park although a job, period, would be nice.

New Years

It's pretty cool to be able to say that you celebrated New Year's in Antarctica. Luckily, the evening of the 31st, I managed to get off work around 1830 to start celebrating the ringing in of the New Year. The night started off with a pretty large hallway party (about 20 to 30 people). After a few hours of that, I went to meet up with someone at the Coffeehouse only to spend the rest of the evening at Gallagher's Pub to bring in the New Year. Despite what you might have guessed, I actually grabbed something to eat from the galley at 0030 and went to bed. Now even though I went to bed so early, I didn't wake up until about 1230 that afternoon. The rest of the 1st was spent celbrating about 7 other time zone's New Years and going to a going away party for a few people I knew.

Going to the going away party hit me in the sense that the season is almost over. People are getting ready to wrap it up before the end of the summer hits. When you think about it, as fast as this summer has gone for me, I have only 6 to 7 weeks left down here. Life and the normal pace of things are starting to change down here as well. Soon the icebreakers will come and we'll start seeing a lot of cargo ships and fueling tankers down here. Employee evals are being prepared by supervisors, talks about contracts for next year are being held, times are definlitey changing down here.

As for afterwards, I'm planning on hanging out in Queenstown and Christchurch, NZ for a little bit only to head to the West Coast of the South Island to do a little climbing with some friends from down here. Hopefully, I'll be back stateside in mid-march.

On a sad and final note, Lieutenant Alex John Keepers of Loudoun County Fire & Rescue Services (the county in which I volunteer) was killed in an auto accident Monday morning while on his way to work. Please keep him and his family in your hearts and prayers as well as all of us firefighters. We're not as invincible as people perceive...